The Starbucks Wars.

(Cue Imperial March theme from Star Wars)

Official Statement by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence but Failing Miserably ‘Cause We Don’t Get It.

In a city far far Left, a voice of reason rises above the uncouth rednecks with guns. Our Hero Mark Morford, rises to fight against the evil forces of the NRA Empire. His stylish writing full of witty repartee strikes deep and wide using every possible prejudiced thought while managing to lie through his teeth and avoid the issue of Human Rights, Self-Defense and just plain common sense (common sense not available in California, void where prohibited by the Brady Bunch). And all because there might be some of them rednecks at his local Starbuck and he does not want to be nervous while sipping his overpriced caffeine beverage.

Welcome to the Starbuck Wars. Apparently the whole thing got legs out of an ABC report about Open Carry proponents meeting peacefully at different Starbucks in the Bay Area of SanFran. It seems that some have been horrendously scared that people would actually have the balls and the rest of the equipment to defend themselves and have thrown a super hissy fit about it. Of course now enters the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence (A.K.A. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence by providing criminals with defenseless victims and A.K.A. The Brady Bunch) with the words of the local coordinator Karen Arntzen:

“This myth, that these people are somehow super heroes that are out there ready to take a bullet for you, they’re just as likely to put a bullet in you,”

This is what passes for information in the Bay Area? You know, there is a point in the mental process where if you actually start believing in the propaganda you spew, it is an indicator of major mental problems. Mind you that people go to Starbucks in other states every hour of every day legally carrying a weapon, may it be concealed or open and there have not been one single incident. Nobody has gone crazy and started a shoot out. Nobody has engaged in an argument that ended up in a shooting over latte and sconces. Nothing.

The Brady Bunch is suffering from Acute Irrelevance Syndrome. They have become a joke even within the ultra liberal fringes of the Left.  Long ago they could get away with their falsehoods knowing that the public did not have the resources or access to the truth. They would fudge crime data or outright lie with the complicity of the Traditional Media and come out smelling like Saviors. But even that started to go sour. When Florida adopted Shall Issue Concealed Weapons Permits, the Brady Bunch warned of the impending doom of more crimes, more murders and the end of civilization as we knew it but something funny happened: Crime and Murders went down and more people started to carry guns in the State of Florida. Other states followed with their own versions and the Brady Bunch came out in each and every instance prophesying Rivers of Blood in the Streets and it didn’t happen again. They became a joke in the internet among the Gun Culture. Whenever we heard that a State was about to pass a Shall Issue CWP, we created our own Brady Bunch releases with the tired old topics we heard before and they almost matched word by word the real thing.

Then the Brady Bunch got creative. Florida still the most hated State because we started the avalanche so they went for the shock value factor with stuff like this:


This banner is supposed to be (or was) somewhere in North Florida on or around I-95. It was meant to scare tourists into turning around and heading for “safer pastures.” I mean, who in his/her right mind would like to be around a bunch of armed Crackers, Haitians and Spics? Right? Well, it didn’t work as well as planned. The pic got a lot of movement in the forums and we were rightly proud of the fact that the Brady Bunch spent that much money in warning criminals about what we can do to them down here if they decide to ply their violent trade.

After the billboard backfired, the Brady Bunch tried to do something similar in airports by passing fliers like this at Miami International and Fort Lauderdale Airport.


And boy they got lots of media coverage…for about two news’ cycles. One of the representives of the Brady Bunch (probably imported from D.C.) at Miami International Airport was allowed to go on camera saying that tourists should not use violent movements of the hands because they might be interpreted as a violent act and get them shot. Now saying this in a South Florida County with a 60% population of Latinos who use their hands while talking in such fashion that we make Italians look like paraplegics, did not sit well with the local populace and the Brady Bunch were shut down faster than a New Marine Recruiting Station in Berkeley. We got the chance to laugh, point them out and say “See? they are the racists, not us.”

Of course it did not help that just recently the Violence Policy Center published the unfortunate Black Homicide Victimization in the United States document where basically conludes that black people shouldn’t have guns which is pretty much the same claim that the Ku Klux Klan make. And just to add more crap to their already stinking mudbath, the Brady Bunch are celebrating Mark Morford’s “opinion” piece, so full of profiling, prejudice and hate, Klukers are offering him a free membership and a free White Sheet Suit included. Moderate Klukers are protesting saying he might be a tad too prejudiced and it might stain the good name of the Klan.

Thank you Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. You are now providing us with a good laugh.

PS: Can we get one of them billboards down here in Miami. Superbowl is here and we need to remind the carpetbagging criminals that things may not be as easy as they think. Thanks!

UPDATE: Via Snowflakes In Hell (H/T) I find out that Starbucks told the Brady Bunch to go drink a crappola frapuccino somewhere else. “Starbucks does not have a corporate policy regarding customers and weapons; we defer to federal, state and local laws and regulations regarding this issue,” Starbucks’ customer relations department said in response to the Brady Campaign’s request.”
Irrelevancy rears its ugly face to the Brady Bunch once again. One more event like this and they can apply for federal funds as a disaster zone.

2 Replies to “The Starbucks Wars.”

  1. Ever since I found your link and read your article about the dipsh!t representative stereotyping his own race to push gun laws I’ve been a fan! I put a link on my Facebook page. I’ve got a buddy who got out of the Navy and is now a commercial deep sea diver hooked as well as ALL the divers out working on the oil platforms with him. GREAT JOB! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!




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