Next person up north that comments 42 degrees is not cold….

… will be dare to do the following when their local temperature rises again to 42.

  1. Turn off any heating systems.
  2. Open all windows.
  3. Wear only summer clothes. (Sandals or flip flops are acceptable)
  4. Deal with winds between 10 to 25 mph.

Most houses and living quarters in South Florida do not have any kind of heating other than the kitchen oven. Also they are built to reject heat, not absorb it. You could not find a portable heater in any store anywhere because the dozen there were available in the Four County area were snatched in the first 30 seconds of the first cold front but most hurricane lamps and Coleman Gas Lamps will help heat up a room till the carbon monoxide alarm goes off.  Winter clothing? There is not such thing as wool or down in South Florida. There were riots in the local WalMarts for hoodies and Long Johns (Old guys with canes are mean as hell and can swing hard. In a pinch they will pitch their dentures at you like a the Senior’s version of a shuriken). We are wearing construction gloves to protect our hands and about 4 pair of socks.

Next hippie that talks to me about Global Warming will get a free shave and a haircut with my grass trimmer.

2 Replies to “Next person up north that comments 42 degrees is not cold….”

  1. Interesting thought ocurred to me reading this.
    Up here, we don’t really find 40’s that cold in winter- I actually do open my windows and doors at those temps to refresh the house from the woodsmoke that’s filled it over the winter- and some friends do wear shorts all year, though at times they throw on snowmobile suits if they’re riding. And women wear skirts as well, think nothing of a 20 mph wind blowing up their legs.
    My point, however, isn’t to tease someone about the temperature being below 60, it’s to comment on the temps above 70 and with humidity in the same range. Those drive me nuts and for one, don’t know how people can stand suffering in that kind of heat, unless they’re in a sauna. Sticky clothes and clammy skin is much more uncomfortable than cool, or cold, weather. Anything south of MPLS is too damn hot and humid for me. In fact, I will even draw the line a bit farther north of that if I was pressed to. 🙂
    Thanks for the chuckles. Oh- if you want help shaving those hippies, give me a call.
    Shy III




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  2. Jim, 70s is still cold weather here. Cold as in “Honey, Where is my scarf?” Now you’ll have our attention at 90s with humidity above 75% but we see the “Northerns” collapse and melt at 85 with 75% humidity while we comment “It seems to be getting a tad warm.” I guess it is all in the way the body gets used to the local weather.
    Thanks for dropping by!




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