Dork Wear.

I just returned from my local supermarket where I went hunting for some vital foodstuffs to make sub sammiches. At the parking lot of such locale, I witnessed an old custom that spawns all cultures and races: A mother forcing her boy to put on what nowadays would be called “dork wear.”

I had just parked and turned off my truck when I saw a duo of a Mom and a boy about nine to ten years of age, two rows over getting out of their car. I could not hear what they said, but the body language was obvious. For the sake of brevity, I’ll improvose a dialogue.

Boy is wearing a white undershirt. Mom hands over to boy a black T-shirt and says:

Mom: Put it on.
Boy (Pouting): I don’t wanna!
Mom (waving finger): I said put the t shirt on right now mister!
Boy (stomping): But Mom! This shirt is not cool!
Mom (giving him “The Look”): I swear that if you don’t put on that shirt right now, I’ll skin your bony ass when we get home.
Boy (whining big time): But I’ll look like a dork!
Mom (sounding like Darth Vader): RIGHT NOW!

So the boy relents and puts on the shirt. As they were moving towards the supermarket, I could not see what was printed on the front of the t-shirt but my curiosity was piqued. What could it be? Something really dorky for such a sensitive age when we want to be “older” kids like a Barney image or Sponge Bob or God Forbid! something girlie like Strawberry Shortcake or Hello Kitty.  I lunged myself out of the truck and as cautiously and nonchalant as possible caught up to them and quickly gazed upon the boy.

It was an Obama t-shirt, kid you not. The inside of my lips are still bleeding.

There is hope for the New Generation after all.

4 Replies to “Dork Wear.”

  1. Sean, so true………

    Note though that the Mom wasn’t wearing it herself, so perhaps it was a punishment for something the boy did?
    Altho I can’t think of anything short of murder that justifies making a child wear that Obammanation* of a shirt.
    Just giving the benefit of the doubt to her…..

    *Obammanation:
    Like abomination, only much worse.




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