Vulcan Grip works

There was a bit of an incident at work a couple of nights ago. Right before start of the shift, I strolled over the coffee room/meet room for the usual pre-shift meeting and besides my fellow co-workers, I find one of the guys from the outgoing shift with some sort of small caliber rifle across his shoulders and behind his neck. I thought it was a very peculiar thing to see in a very much so Gun Free workplace but before my mouth could say something, Mr. Asshole Rifleman saw me and one-handed aimed the rifle to my midsection with his index finger inside the trigger guard.

All my politeness went out the window as I told him to stop aiming that fucking rifle at me. He laughed which is not the appropriate answer when one demands to follow the Four Rules. I sidestepped to the left and then took two quick steps forward getting in the inside radius of the rifle and the Asshole. Before  could control the weapon, Asshole moved it away from me to his left effectively sweeping three other coworkers. My hand suddenly landed on the muscle group right where the neck meets the shoulder and my thumb stabbed deep on the front and the rest of the fingers on the back. Asshole’s  reaction was finally the right one: he crouched and brought the muzzle of the rifle up aiming towards the ceiling. Still clutching the muscles and nerves of his shoulder, I took the opportunity to repeat my dislike at having a weapon aimed at me.

Now people, if you fuck up by the numbers, please do not try to come up with lame excuses to defend your stupidity, just shut up and take it like a somewhat metrosexual man. Asshole however apparently did not shared this strategy because he opened his mouth to say three idiotic things:

“But it is unloaded!”

“It is just an air rifle!”

“I own a real gun, I know what I am doing!”

I am sure you do not need to make great strides to figure out what replies I made and generously laced with profanities. But I did reinforced every reply with a quick increase of grip pressure to drive the points home. After what appeared to be a final understanding on his part that I was not kidding and I was royally pissed, I left the area.

Last night when I got to work, Asshole would not speak to me (at least I was expecting an apology) and his face reminded me of a 5 year old pouting after a well deserved behavior adjustment. I really don’t give to flying…..flocks of seagulls.

If we are lucky, he will have a Negligent Discharge and end up in a hospital somewhere. Worst case scenario, somebody will pay for his stupidity. His macho type will not admit the mistake nor will he seek training to correct his mishandling of weapons.

9 Replies to “Vulcan Grip works”

  1. You can’t fix stupid! It’s amazing that NOBODY ever gets injured with a “loaded” gun. I had a similar incident a few months back at a job I no longer have. Three “co-workerss” showed up in my area knowing that they would get me worked up by pointing a flintlock handgun at me. They also quickly learned how fast they can be disarmed and hit the concrete floor. I felt they were lucky that I recognized they had a “Musket” and didn’t get the law involved. Pointing a firearm (loaded or not) at ANYBODY is a felony where I come from




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  2. That guy is lucky he didn’t get the crap kicked out of him or worse, shot. The only weapon someone gets to point at me is a finger, after that, the flood gate will probably open. Also, I notice no csgv posts lately…..




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  3. “but it’s unloaded!” or some variant, is the sort of phrase that haunts my nightmares. I can only imagine it gets uttered before any sort of “accidental” negligent discharge that results in someone getting hurt or killed.




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  4. Dang. That guy almost deserves a round in his kneecap from an “unloaded” weapon! All seriousness aside, though…I’d almost pay money (almost, because I’m married…therefore I have none to pay) to watch a video of that whole thing going down. Hmm…have you talked to the guys who monitor the security cams?




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