NRA: 10 things that makes us the weirdest, coolest terrorist organization in the world.
You have seen the memes and the covers:
As terrorist organization, we are indeed weird. How so?
- We charge for membership. Other groups will welcome you with open arms and no financial discharge. Not us, we demand an annual small fee for yearly membership and if you wanna go higher up in the “organization” we offer you a lifetime membership….keyword: Lifetime.
And we give you stickers.
- You get insurance. You are a member of Al-Queada and lost your AK? You are going to give some serious amount of explanations and wait your turn in line to get another or go kill somebody. The NRA covers up to a certain sum for your lost firearms. And there are available for you to buy additional insurance programs covering from health care to travel.
- Rebates. from car rentals to hotels, we get discounts in many places. Also we have online security services, credit cards car buying assistance and gun safes!
- We have a wine club! There, we just kicked the ass of every Jihadist group. <drop mike>
- We train Police and Military. We are so weird that we help those who people like Ladd Everitt would like to shoot us and take away our guns. Imagine that.
- We have an Annual Meeting. You can find the biggest concentration of “terrorist” at a convention center near you at least once a year. Funny thing: No explosions, massacres or beheading happen. Actually crime takes a serious dip.
- We have Credit Cards. Have You ever seen ISIS Visa? Me neither.
- We have a Cigar club too. At the end of a nasty day saving goats for the grace of Allah, the best a Jihadist can do is suck on the communal hookah and get a taste of accumulated unknown saliva. But NRA members can enjoy a monthly sample of 5 cigars for a very small fee and then get what you like.
- And we have an online store. Clothing, range accessories, knives, jewelry, books, DVDs and a whole bunch of stuff.
- But that is not all! Possibly the most important is all the programs offered: From Eddie Eagle to Hunter Services to Women’s Programs (No hijab required), Youth Programs, gunsmithing and two kick-ass museums. I know I am leaving stuff out, but that should be more than enough.
It is pretty clear that no terrorist organization can provide that. Hell, no Anti Gun organization can provide it either! The best they have is Moms Demand offering some overpriced leather wristbands and Etchy-type t-shirts.
So, next time some idiot in social media accuses you to belong to a terrorist organization, just point them over here and wait for their blood pressure to go ballistic. Let me know how high it went.
October 22, 2016
October 22, 2016
October 21, 2016