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A man in Jupiter, Florida has been arrested for throwing an alligator through the Window of a Wendy’s drive-thru, and has claimed his action was a prank.

My favorite part of this story, is that he has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.  Yes, an alligator is officially a deadly weapon.

It takes a Captive Wildlife Permit to legally possess an alligator in the State of Florida.

So begs the question, if you have a CWP and CCW, can you legally carry an alligator concealed for defensive purposes?

What would be the best way to carry a concealed alligator?  I for one would want some sort of strap around its mouth, removed with a thumb break to prevent accidental discharge mastication.

Alligators have between 74 and 80 teeth in their mouths, so would that be considered high capacity assault alligator by Everytown and Bloomberg crew?

How big can your alligator be before you have to register it as a destructive device?

I just can’t wait for the caliber wars on this one: alligator vs. crocodile.

Oh Florida, don’t you ever change…

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Comments

  1. Alligators have between 74 and 80 teeth in their mouths, so would that be considered high capacity assault alligator by Everytown and Bloomberg crew?

    More to the point (heh!), since one use of the “weapon” launches all 74-80 teeth at once, instead of one at a time, does that make it a full-auto Class 3 weapon?

  2. […] SOURCE […]

  3. @Archer: No, it’s a shotgun, silly.

  4. Would you carry your alligator in an alligator-skin holster, or would that be gauche?

  5. […] #FloridaMan: We must take action now to ban assault alligators, or at least limit tooth capacity. […]

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