by J. Kb
In what has been described as “one of the cutest videos ever” a polar bear was seen “petting” a sled dog at at sled dog sanctuary in Canada.
Shortly after this video was taken and went viral, the polar bear came back and ate one of the sled dogs.
Because it is a fucking polar bear, that’s why.
As it turns out the sled dog sanctuary owner (and moron) Brian Ladoon, was feeding the polar bears. The one night he didn’t leave food for North America’s largest land predator and hypercarnivore, the bear ate a dog.
Knowing that, the video above seems a lot less like “cute bear petting sled dog” and a lot more like “apex predator testing the defenses of a domesticated canine.”
It makes you wonder just how far Mr. Ladoon has his head up his ass that we was leaving food for the bears. My guess is… so far up there that he suffered from asphyxia and brain damage.
Apex predators will do exactly what 600,000 years of evolution has made them extremely good at doing, and you and your sled dogs are at their mercy.
Real life is not a Disney movie where all the different animals sing a song about working together. Real life turns your sled dog into bear shit and it’s all your fault for not dealing with the bears when you had a chance.
That fact that Ladoon ONLY lost a dog and not a fellow human is just a bit of dumb luck.
So for anybody north of the border who might read this, let me introduce you to a mathematical theorem that might be of use, called Marlin’s Postulate:
Mother nature is an unforgiving bitch who will eat you alive while you scream and shit you out in the woods, while you try to capture the next viral video with your cellphone.
Keep that in mind and extrapolate this information as you will.
January 23, 2017
January 23, 2017