I might be literally worse than Hitler. At least that is the opinion of my buddy’s girlfriend.
A coworker of ours has been selling Girl Scout cookies on behalf of his daughter.
My buddy bought a few boxes. They were delivered in a stack to his desk.
I surreptitiously opened his box of Peanut Butter Patties, removed the tray of cookies, and glued the flaps of the box closed again. He then took the stack of cookies home.
I come to find out today that his girlfriend made a beeline for the Patties.
She suspected something was wrong when the box didn’t weight much, but it was still sealed.
Her suspicion turned to worry when she shook the box and heard nothing.
Suspicion became absolute soul crushing despair when she opened the box to find it empty.
Apparently she was near inconsolable for an hour that some inhuman monster had so cruelly hoodwinked her and robbed her of her chocolate covered peanut buttery joy.
I don’t know what tasted better: his cookies or her emotional devastation.