The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy rigged Diebold voting machines and with the help of the complicit Supreme Court, they stole the 2016 Olympics from the people of Chicago and gave it to that cradle of racist cauldron called Rio de Janeiro.

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid will soon make an announcement demanding Congressional hearings to investigate the outcome of this selection process. Hillary Clinton just announced that the Members of the International Olympic Committee are barred from entering the United States until the United Nations launches a Peacekeeping force and takes over the Olympic Committee headquarters. President Obama has ordered the CIA to investigate and look for aspirin factories in Rio de Janeiro so he can order a Tomahawk Cruise Missile attack.  The Southern Poverty Law Center has just released a 21 page memo in which explains with detail the dangers of Brazilian domestic white supremacist terrorist ties to the KKK and announces that Timothy McVeigh was actually from Rio. First Lady Michelle Obama just went shopping for a Lana Marks handbag to prepare for an upcoming Feed The Homeless Brazilian Food night at the Hay-Adams Hotel but as long as she doesn’t have to touch them. And of course, it is all George Bush’s fault.

Update: The wife told me that there are actually people blaming Fox News and Conservatives for Chicago losing the bid. I am not surprised.