-Isn’t the IPad is just like a really really big IPhone? It is going to be a bitch to find a comfortable belt pouch for that thing.

-Dear FBI: Isn’t stupid to dismiss terrorism in the case of Lloyd Woodson? You find a guy with illegal weapons, maps of the local army base and “Middle Eastern red and white traditional headdress” (maybe a kaffiyeh, maybe a shemag or maybe it was the tablecloth of the local Italian restaurant) chances are he was not doing a presentation for the next CBS show, Usama’s Funniest Videos. But that is just me.

-Some bag boy needs a basic vision test after confusing an umbrella with a rifle and scaring patrons to death. It is unknown if the umbrella had a bayonet lug and a high capacity ” banana clip’.