Month: January 2022

My Time Lord fan theory

One of the newer Christmas traditions that I enjoyed was BBC America running a Dr. Who Christmas episode marathon prior to the new Christmas episode.

Then, a few years ago it got delayed until New Years and now the Dr. Who marathon is a New Year’s Eve and Day thing.

This time, rather than the best episodes, they are doing the two seasons of the 13th Doctor, played by Jodie Whittaker.

She is God fucking awful and all her stories are terrible.

Her iteration of The Doctor is the dumbest yet.  I like Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant.

Eccleston’s doctor was dark and brooding, having just regenerated from The War Doctor.  Tennant had levity but when he got pushed he got angry, my favorite bring the Family of Blood arc.

These doctors were smart. When it took time to figure something put it’s because their heads were so full of stuff they couldn’t sort it out.  Matt Smith toned that down.  I didn’t like Capaldi.  Whittaker was Smith with ADHD.

Giving her an entourage made her worse.  One companion is necessary, but a while entourage is distracting and spreads The Doctor to thin.

Putting the 13th Doctor in Chinball’s hands was a mistake.

Where he really killed the show was his origin of the Time Lords.  Fucking made The Doctor the progenitor of the species.

It sucks.

So, here was my fan theory of the origin of the Time Lords that actually relies on canon and evidence.

Things we know:

The Doctor admits that his people became the Time Lords due to exposure to the Time Vortex.

A human exposed to the Time Vortex gains Time Lord powers, e.g., Rose looking into the heart of the TARDIS and becoming the Bad Wolf and River Song being conceived in the TARDIS.

We know Time Lords look human and Earth plays a part in Time Lords mythology (End of Time arc).

There is a connection between The Doctor and Earth, and The Doctor appoints himself defender of Humanity.

Lastly, humans have some limited forms of time travel.

So…

Humans explore the galaxy, there are several human empires shown in the show.

One group of humans decides they don’t want to be a part of the human empire. They want to be left alone to be peaceful farmers and philosophers.  Sort of Space Amish.

They try to get away from the empire but always fail.

Finally they get a time machine and go all the way back to the beginning of the universe and land on a lonely planet they call Gallifrey.

The Time Vortex exists there as a natural phenomenon.

Eons of exposure to the natural Vortex turns them into Time Lords.

They recognize they power they have and are both isolationist and secretive to keep others away from the Time Vortex to prevent rival species from gaining their powers.

So much so they bury their own history.  No acknowledgement that they were once humans. So no other species can try to become like them by living near the Vortex.

Also prevents other species from wiping out the Time Lords by wiping out humans before they colonize Gallifrey.

That secret, that they were once human, even becomes shameful to them.  How dare anyone believe that the godlike beings were once justHalliday.

Only a few Time Lords know.  The connection between Earth and Gallifrey becomes buried in Time Lords legend under a cloak of enigma.

The Doctor learns of it and becomes a guardian of Humanity and Earth to protect the human race preserving the continuity of the time line, i.e., humans get wiped out before the first Gallifrey colony forms and Time Lords are wiped out.

Future arcs involve other species learning this secret – perhaps The Master finds out and broadcasts it – and The Doctor has to prevent other species from colonizing Gallifrey before the humans do.  Maybe some do and The Doctor has to go back to the very beginning and reset the Time Line.

The point is, everything fits nicely with room to create future arcs.

It also doesn’t fall victim to the trope/fallacy were EVERYTHING revolves around one character.

Now all I need is a plot that allows up to reboot the 13th Doctor as someone other than Jodi Whittaker.

Hell, you want a female Doctor, I’ll give you one.

Judy Dench, Maggie Smith, or Helen Mirren.  A very solemn dowager matriarch like Doctor.

She gets paired against her will with a conservative (straight, white, married, religious) SAS officer by UNIT.

There is some threat to Earth and UNIT needs the Doctor and assigns her a UNIT companion for a joint UNIT/Doctor operation.

There are natural points of conflict with room for character growth.

The Doctor doesn’t like soldiers, the male companion is one and The Doctor has to work past that.  The SAS Companion is not stupid but has to learn to solve problems with a bit more flexibility than the SAS way of applying violence.

The Doctor has to come to see the soldier as a person, not just a killing machine, who joined the SAS for love of country and a sense of duty to protect, which the Doctor also feels (duty to protect).

Both learn to respect each other and see eye to eye on issues without a whiff of sexual tension.

And The Doctor doesn’t act like an idiot with ADHD.

 

 

The last few hours of 2021 were a political sh*t show

Let’s have a little recap of what happened in the close of 2021 so we can see where we’re going in 2022.

It’s crystal clear that the Democrats are scared fuckless of Ron DeSantis.

They had #WhereIsRon trending on Twitter, making claims that he is “missing” with theories that ranged from him being on a secret vacation to him battling COVID, because he has not made a public address since before Christmas.

It turns out he’s been working in his office and being with his wife during her breast cancer treatments.

The who point was to make it appear as though he has abandoned his post during a massive COVID surge in FL.

That New York and California were surging harder was never at issue.

Nor was the fact that Biden campaigned on ‘shutting down the virus” then threw up his hands and said there is nothing the federal government can do and it’s all on the states now.

It seems like Plagiarizing Joe’s plan was to take credit for Trump’s Warp Speed and when the vaccinations failed to slow the spread like everyone hoped, he had not follow-up plan.

Biden is on vacation on a beach with a new puppy during a COVID surge, right after Buttigieg disappeared for four months of paternity leave during a supply chain crisis, but Ron DeSantis working quietly between Christmas and New Years is the career ending dereliction of duty.

If you want to the definition of a manufactured crisis, this is it.

Clearly the Democrats are trying to destroy DeSantis before he gets tapped to run in 2024.

But it gets so much worse.

Archetypal socialist AOC went to Florida for vacation.  While NYC is breaking new case records while under strict mask and vaccine passport protocols, AOC is drinking at a restaurant in Miami Beach.

Getting caught being a hypocrite didn’t sit well with her.   You can’t bash Florida for being a COVID hell hole of zero mandates, then go there to avoid the mandates.

AOC tried to turn this around by deflecting to the “DeSantis is missing” conspiracy theory.

That went over even more poorly, so she went full high school mean girl narcissist.

Remember that after January 6th, she claimed she was terrified that the people who entered the Capitol would try and hunt her down to rape her.  Even though she wasn’t even in that building?

And she continued to double down on this.

This argument is perfect for her in that it’s not falsifiable.

“You only engage with me because you want to sleep with me.”

“No, I don’t.”

“See, you engaged with me again, proving my pont that you want to sleep with me.”

While on Conservative Twitter, all I’ve seen in relation to AOC is this meme:

 

With barely 48 hours left on 2021, politics had to plumb new depths of insanity and despicablness.

And this is where we stand going into 2022.

God help us all.