I need to become a business consultant.
Call me the 48 hour CEO.
That’s the plan, I’m CEO for 48 hours, implement a few major changes, then leave.
My first customer should be Starbucks.
Like their coffee or hate it, they are ubiquitous, so if you’re out and want a hot beverage on a cold day, there is a good chance you’ll end up there.
Unfortunately, social media has ruined Starbucks.
The rise of “TikTok/Instagram drinks” and super complicated orders means one person can ruin everyone else’s day by making a barista take 10 minutes to make one monstrosity of a beverage.
Starbucks keeps saying that it supports customers making custom orders.
Sure it pisses off the baristas that Starbucks considers slave labor, but it also pisses off regular customers who wait for this drink to be made.
Since Starbucks has steered into the skid on this one, here’s my change.
“Ayone who orders a TikTok drink, secret menu item, or customizes a drink with three or more ingredient additions or changes will be given a $25 surcharge and 20% gratuity.”
If you want a 27 ingredient drink to post on TikTok or Instagram, it’s gonna cost you $50.
and you ask for a Cortado, they look at you like you are a martian and google what that means.
Cortado? “Sir, this isn’t a Ford dealership. We only sell coffee.”
That’s… not a bad idea, actually.
Kinda resembles manufacturing. If you order a standard part it’s cheaper cuz they’re always in stock, but custom and one-off parts cost more.
And don’t get me started if you want it done fast. Apply same logic to everything else
My simple solution? Don’t patronize fascists asskissing businesses. No other coffee shop open? I bring the good coffee with me from home. Or get a beer, whatever.
“Anna Sitar is a Starbucks Appuccino star on TikTok. She has 9 million followers who delight in watching her taste-test various concoctions called “Starbies.”
And no surprise that we see people driving alone in cars wearing masks………
Coupla generations ago, I was a callow college student. A college screed, printed by The Young Marxist Society, or some such bullshit, was entitled “The Spectacle”. The premise was that commercial America made daily life a commodity, a “spectacle”, of sorts, packaged and resold back to you.
eg, porn instead of love. Fast food instead of, oh, food. And so forth.
Imagine my surprise to discover this Marxist analysis commodities, resurrected as Instagram, Tick Tock, etc.!
Just get coffee from McDonalds.
Your next customer? Any fast food chain. A rule that says all drive through orders need to be on one check, and can include no more than 3 sandwiches. Want to order 6 burgers, each with a different side, a different drink, and all on separate tickets/checks? Then take it inside.
The Late Great Don Imus 1200 Hamburgers To Go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY60M5l4o2M
I spent a couple summers working at a McDonald’s. I did drive-through “cash” during the lunch hours — that meant taking orders, taking payment, and making change. And this was before they could take credit cards.
If I’d moved as slow as current McDonald’s drive throughs do, I’d have been canned. I could take an order and make change at the same time, and most days HAD to in order to keep up with the customers.
Want a good basic coffee that doesn’t taste overly burnt and isn’t overly expensive? Go to a decent convenience store, where you can pour one decent bean flavor, or mix your own, add what you want, and get it small, medium, large, jug-sized, for a third of the price of Coffee-Shop coffee.
Why do you even want that Starbucks garbage? Why perpetuate the evilness of those dumbasses?
It’s like liking ice cream and only buying Ben&Jerry, when Publix or someone else makes as good or better, without all of the overriding social justice and socialism.
Starbucks coffee taste like it’s made with the filter basket filled with shavings from a pencil ✏️ sharpener.