It is not the Lizard People or the Illuminati or Area 51 or the Black Helicopters, no. It is mores sinister because it is more close to home than anything else.
I am talking about the conspiracy regarding PVC Cement.
If you have ever done two PVC jobs, you are privy of this mystery: The purple cleaner lasts forever, the cement dries and disappears in six months.
I can see you nodding out there. You know you have a can of the purple stuff probably since Bush the Younger was elected president but you needed to get a new can of cement every fiscal year or even before.
Plumbers say that I am full of it. But what do they know? They go through that shit so fast, they never give it time to do the disappearing act. It is the home owner who works his own plumbing that has noticed it and has to make the solitary and embarrassing trek to the Big Box retailer to buy the pitiful eight ounce can of cement.
I just wanted to share my suspicions with the world. I am on my way to Home Depot to get a can myself, but I used the “Pick Up at the Service Counter” internet sale thing. I’ll be embarrassed, but I will do it with convenience.
This is just a small part of the Adhesive Industrial Complex conspiracy of planned obsolescence against us.
Have you ever had a tube of super glue last more than one use?
Not sure whose superglue you are using, but I’ve gone through an entire blue tube of Loctite Superglue and the stuff didn’t dry up to obsolescence. Maybe it’;s just some manufacturers?
Loctite is quality stuff.
I’m sure it’s the Black Helicopter operating Illuminati of Area 51 that had the Adhesive Industrial Complex remove some part of the original formula because it caused cancer in Lizard People or maybe it was the state of California. But I repeat myself.
It will last “forever” on the shelf at the store but the second you open it there’s a countdown from a thick liquid to a semi-solid mass.