Always take a knife to a wedding

I’m going to a best friend’s wedding this weekend and will be flying out tomorrow.  I’m using this as an opportunity to get some vacation in, so I may not post much for a few days.

My wife an I were going through are packing list for the trip.  She asked what jewelry I thought she should bring.  I was trying to pick out what knife would go well with my suit.

I always bring a knife to a wedding.

Some years ago, when I was in school in South Dakota, there were half-a-dozen of us who were really close friends.  We all got married over the course of two years, pretty much the summer after graduating or commencing with an MS.

The first of us to get married was my buddy we’ll call D.  He and his wife were from Rapid City, his dad was with the police and his mom was a teacher.  His wife’s mom was a teacher, they knew everybody in town.

They had a beautiful ceremony, except for one tiny hiccup.  One of his wife’s cousins was the ring girl.  They tie the ring to the pillow now days so the little kids doesn’t drop it.  The girl was supposed to untie the bow and hand over the rings.  Something went wrong and it got pulled into a hard knot.

There was some commotion at the alter as they tried to untie the knot, until someone found a scissor to cut the knot.  The wedding resumed

So a month later, another of our buddies got married.  During the rehearsal, another one of my buddies was busting D’s balls about the ring girl incident.  Someone else joked that he should have had a knife on him.  The groom said that he would bring one just in case.  At which point the current groom’s fiance asked how many of us had a knife on us at that moment, at which point all of us pulled one out.  She had to get a picture of that, so there we all were in our suits, standing at the alter of a church, each one of us holding open a pocket knife.

This became a running gag over the course of the next few weddings, with each of us carrying more and more knives each time.

One of my buddies actually got us all engraved pocket knives as groomsman gifts.

It’s been years since then and most of us have moved out of South Dakota, but I still remember that fondly, and give the advice “always take a knife to a wedding.”


5 Replies to “Always take a knife to a wedding”

  1. At the last wedding I attended, the groom brought his own knife. He was wearing Highland dress, complete with a skean dubh in his sock.

  2. Interestingly, The Plaintiff and I each had a pistol to hand at our son’s wedding: not her for me, nor me for her, but both of us against the possibility that her mother might arrive and stir up stool (who, when I refer to her-the ex monster in law-as “The Anti-Christ”, Satan, somewhere, flinches and shivers, and complains, “Dude! That’s just unfair!”)

    On top of my own several knives. You can take the medic off the street, but it is tough to take the street out of the medic!

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