Dear Mr. Gangsta:

Dear Julio-Shaqueen:

Once again I do apologize for the incident yesterday. But I feel that you totally went overboard because of a small fender bender and I am pretty sure that damage to you “Low Rider” was not done by my truck since your ride showed plenty rust already and was smoking more than my grandmother at the bar.

Yes, I agree with you that the police officer driving by was unfortunate and that we could not finish business right there but as i told you in my last email, I kindly accept your invitation to you “turf” and “settle da shit” once for all. I also wanna thank you for allowing me to bring some of my “homies” as companions during our deliberations. I asked several members of my Gun Club and, what do you know? They all are thrilled to come along and share in this multicultural experience. However, such a level of excitement has brought some small discussions that I hope they will be solved shortly and nothing you should worry about. Allow me to explain: The Long Range Shooters in our club come mostly in two flavors, Snipers and Varminters. Both groups are discussing the best locations to set up their gear after one of our club members who works for a undisclosed government agency that deals with satellites provided us with detailed aerial photographs of your “hood.” The discussion centers on how far they want to set shop so it is sporty to use their rifles and I think they are now pretty much decided in a range between 400 and 600 yards and the Snipers agreed for the sake of peace between both groups to leave the suppressors at home, something about unfair advantage over the Varminters. Then we were having an issue between the shooters of Tactical Rifles (I think you call those rifles “choppers”) versus the Tactical Shotgun Aficionados. The Tactical Shotgun people felt that the Rifle guys have the upper hand with their new green lasers and greater range with their ammunition. The Tactical Rifle People say that it is not their problem because they can do medium and short range engagements with the same ease and if the Shotgunners can’t, it is not their problem. A happy resolution was found when it was agreed that half the Tactical Rifle People would stay outside your Clubhouse and cover against any drive-bys while the other half would support the Tactical Shotgun and the Pistol Shooters doing the dynamic entry.

That bring us to the last and most difficult disagreement to settle wich was among the Pistol Shooters. Do you know how hard is to get IDPA, IPSC, Steel, Cowboy, Bowling, Bullseye, Metallic silhouette, PPC, etc to agree on anything? We are still ironing a few details but I can promise that we will bring a balanced sample of every discipline while keeping the numbers to a reasonable 50 or so pistol shooters. Than God we managed to get a good deal on the latest hollow point ammunition for pistol because the funding was a bit tight at the moment with all the economic problems we are having and such.

One question. Can we use that abandoned lot next to your clubhouse to park our armored vehicles? Our sources say that you guys use the lot for your unlicensed pharmacological transactions and imposed sexual therapy on unsuspecting females, but I feel we shouldn’t be blocking the free access of the streets while we visit you. You never know when emergency vehicles such as paramedics and ambulances might need to use those streets. Also the owners of the armored vehicles are quite prissy about their babies, after all they are classics from WWII, Korea, Vietnam and the Gulf War capable of withstanding direct RPG hits but a military-type paint job is expensive and hard to come by. Don’t worry about security for the vehicles, the Class III folks will come along and mount crew served weapon of their choice on the APCs, Bradleys and such.

And last, we decided that those holding DD licenses were not going to come unless they leave their toys home. A couple of WWII reenactors were already taking out and preparing their flamethrowers, but unless we were sure you guys had enough fire extinguishers and/or sprinkler systems the danger to spreading fires to nearby dwellings was too much. The guys with the artillery pieces are out of town at Knob Creek and I am sure they are gonna be mighty pissed they missed this encounter.

That’s all for know. If there is anything you want us to know, please feel free to contact me. If not, we will be dropping by when you least expect us. We are a bunch of pranksters and we love to go BOO! when you are looking the other way.

See ya soon!

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