Amazing and Unknown Bear Facts: Mike Kupari

Mike Kupari is the half of the Dead Six book series alongside with Larry Correia. If you have not read them, go get them now. Pack full of action & shooting.

Mike just posted this on Larry’s Facebook wall and I had to steal it.

This calls for some more BEAR FACTS.

FACT: Approx. 51,000 Americans die in bear attacks every year.

FACT: Bear attacks are the 8th and 9th leading causes of death in the United States, just behind Diabetes and ahead of Nephritis, Nephrosis, Influenza, and Pneumonia.

FACT: Additionally, bears are a factor in 9% of automobile accidents nationwide (bears are terrible drivers).

FACT: Bear attacks are becoming so prevalent that the CDC is covering them up to prevent widespread panic. Actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman didn’t die of a drug overdose. There were drugs in his system, but he was actually found dead of a bear mauling in that NYC hotel room. (The bear also had drugs in its system. Bears get aggressive when they take heroine.)

Other actors notoriously killed by bears include Brandon Lee, Raul Julia, and Paul Walker (the latter because he allowed the bear to drive).

FACT: The Premier of Manitoba was recently killed in a bear attack. The Canadian Forces, aided by the RCMP, were able to restore constitutional government to the Province, putting down the attempt at secession by bears. Kim Jong Un in North Korea is a puppet (literally, a marionette controlled by strings). An endangered Ussuri Black Bear known only as “Great Leader” is actually in control of North Korea.

FACT: Bears are notoriously antisemitic. They publicly support Holocaust Denial propaganda and have even been seen marching in Klan rallies.

FACT: Raccoons are a thieving, spying, assassin client race of the Bears. They do their masters’ bidding willingly and gleefully. They are not to be trusted.

FACT: Giant Pandas were responsible for over a million Chinese deaths during the “Great Leap Forward”. They are dedicated communists and acted as enforcers for Mao Zedong.

FACT: Koala Bears are not actually bears. They’re marsupials, which means they probably came from outer space. Actual bears consider them a racial abomination and have viciously hunted them to near extinction.

dead-six1sword of exodus

Yes, neither one of them work with a plumb bubble, but they write damned good books 🙂

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