My dad passed about a year-and-a-half ago.
I miss him terribly, especially around the holidays. Since I moved out of the house for college, the times of the year I used to see him the most were Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I am the cook in my family and I would always do a huge spread. My dad was never a turkey fan so I always made him a duck for Thanksgiving.
My dad was an attorney and did a lot of work in state and federal regulatory law, so he was big into politics as well. He raised me with the thought that I would become an attorney like him so we used to argue politics for sport.
We’re doing Thanksgiving at my house again. My father-in-law is visiting us. I like my father-in-law and he is always welcome. My son loves playing with grandpa, but it still is difficult knowing that he’s not going to grow up with memories of my father.
So when I check my morning news feed and I come across this article from GQ magazine, I got so mad I thought I was going to have a stroke.
The very first sentence in the article is “This Turkey Day, consider making life HELL for a few of your relatives.”
The author, Joe Berkowitz, decided to prove in roughly 1,100 words that he is one of the worst sons and worst people currently working in America.
He opens talking about Thanksgiving 2016.
I was lucky, kind of. Both my family and my wife’s family were Hillary supporters. But we spent Thanksgiving 2016 at my parents’ house in Asheville, North Carolina—a city which, despite its Portlandia-esque sensibilities, was nestled in deep red territory. Walking around downtown, I saw more sentient MAGA hats in a few hours than I had in three long post-election weeks in New York. Right away, my dad informed me that some Trump supporter friends would be joining our Thanksgiving dinner. He assured me he’d politely asked them not to talk politics, and encouraged me to follow suit. I spent Thanksgiving dinner trying to guess which guests were the ones who voted for Trump, like the most embarrassing Agatha Christie mystery of all time.
Ah, yes, his family is made up of righteous true believers and it was his duty to ferret out the heretics amongst them.
He then runs through a histrionic litany of why Trump is immanentizing the eschaton.
He then concludes:
Any parents still riding the Trump Train at this point have thereby signaled that nothing is sacred. It is time to follow their example. They can’t stand idly by while President Deals tramples every other American tradition and yet somehow expect that Thanksgiving will be normal too. If every other moment of this year is going to be drastically out of whack, nobody should get to pretend that everything is normal for one meal just because that’s what the pilgrims would have done.
If he can’t be happy about the 2016 election, nobody will be happy every again.
Here are a few suggestions for how to ruin Thanksgiving, arranged by ascending order of righteous fury: