A rifle behind every blade of grass

Legend has it that Isoroku Yamamoto, Commander-in-Chief of the Imperial Japanese Navy during WWII said “You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.

This is almost certainly a fabrication.  Never the less, it is an appropriate assessment of  some parts of the Unites States.

I was checking my news feed this morning and read this headline “Iran promises to send warships to Gulf of Mexico, Atlantic Ocean.

Oh really?

LONDON — Iran’s new naval commander has vowed to send warships to America’s backyard.

Rear Adm. Hossein Khanzadi said plans were being drawn up for vessels to be deployed to the Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic Ocean “in the near future.” They would also visit South American countries, he added.

Tehran has long complained about U.S. ships being based in the Persian Gulf.

Speaking at his first press conference since being appointed, Khanzadi promised his navy would “wave the flag of our country in the Gulf of Mexico.”

I hope, for the sake of the US Navy and Cost Guard, that this is just bluster and saber rattling.

Not that I believe that the US Navy and Coast Guard will be outmatched by the Iranian Navy in our waters, but that the job of the US Navy and Coast Guard will be to defend the Iranian fleet.

According to Wikipedia, the only deep water ships that Iran has right now are a couple of frigates, and sending them to the Gulf of Mexico would stretch the logistical capabilities of their navy to the breaking point.

So, let’s say Iran were to park a frigate or two off the coast of Houston, Corpus Christi, Baton Rouge, Panama City, or Tampa.

I guarantee every red blooded, American, good-ol-boy with an AR-15 and saltwater fishing boat is going to make a patriotic, Minute-Man-esque stand against the foreign aggressor.

If you think the Cajun Navy did a hell of a job rescuing people after a hurricane, just wait until they think that America has come under Iranian attack.

Half the Grady-Whites, Boston Whalers, and Sea Rays up and down the Gulf Coast is going to be flying a Jolly Roger, wanting to take pot shots at the Iranians just for fucking fun of it.

These are the guys who grew up listening to the stories of grandpa at Normandy and have up on the mantle, that Mauser bayonet that got brought home from the front.  They sure as shit would love to add a captured Iranian Zoaf to their collection.

It will be one frigate, low on fuel, up against 10,000 angry rednecks.

Of course, the US Navy and Coast Guard will have to be the ones to keep these guys at bay before they cause an “international incident.”

Then again, with Trump as POTUS, who knows what will happen.



8 Replies to “A rifle behind every blade of grass”

  1. I’d just wait for the ships to break down in the gulf and then have to wait for a tow. And while they’re waiting the Cajun navel can cruise by with bikini clad young ladies.

    1. That’s a good notion. It is similar to one of the main reasons the Soviet empire collapsed: the fact that its subjects got a better understanding of just how bad off they were. Especially the ones in places like East Germany or Czechoslovakia.

  2. “It will be one frigate, low on fuel, up against 10,000 angry rednecks.”

    Now that would be funny to watch. 😀 Specially when they start throwing, beer, BLTs and pulled pork sammiches at the foreigners.

    Of course, the ClintonNewsNetwork will immediately blame any and all past/present/future problems on the Cajun Navy. Even if they were to save them Iranians from drowning, I’m 200% positive they will use one of their douche reporters to twist the truth yet again.

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