First they came for my toilet. Then they came for my shower head.
They’ve told me that I have to turn my AC up in the summer and heat down in the winter.
My washing machine takes forever and my dryer takes even longer.
I have tolerated all the nannying, and guilt tripping from elite Hollywood
rapists celebrities, buy let me make this clear.
You can have my Medianoche, Ruben, or pulled pork sandwich when you pry it from my dead, greasy hands.
If you are willing to die on the hill of trying to take my sandwich from me, I can accommodate that. I’m a big guy, I’m hungry, and it’s lunch time.
Ban sandwiches, I dare you.