LONDON—In response to a recent outbreak in fistfights, London mayor Sadiq Khan announced Monday a sweeping ban of hands in the city, effective immediately.
“No excuses: there is never a reason to have hands in a modern, civil society. Anyone who does will be caught, and they will feel the full force of the law,” Khan said at a press conference announcing the new policy during which he revealed that he has had his own hands surgically removed as a good-faith move to jump-start the new regulations.
In Response To Growing Number Of Fistfights, London Mayor Bans Hand.
Babylon Bee is a satire website and that “Fauxticle” is funny as hell, and it brought to mind this:
The way things are going in England, truthfully I would not be surprised if it happens.
Hat Tip Kevin C.