Again, not The Onion.
According to Superintendent Bill Hall, the bats were distributed to each teacher, following an in-service training day on how to respond to school shootings.
Hall says the bats are primarily “symbolic” but are now an option for teachers to use should they need to fight back in a shooting.
The bats will be locked up in each classroom and kept in the offices in the district’s 10 school buildings.
You know what else? They should be chained down so they don’t get take too far. Yeah, that is the ticket.
This kind of reminds me the Brits in WWII coming up with stupid ideas to battle German submarine wolf packs. My favorite was trying to train seagulls to poop on periscopes the moment the saw one.
I am so glad I don’t have kids. Between the Stupid and the Insecurity, one would be hard pressed not to home-school your children.
PS: Thanks to @AnonTechGuy912 who just made realize the irony of issuing blunt weapons to teachers when the FBI shows UCR that more people were killed by impacts with an instrument than by all rifles.