4 Replies to ““Yes, I graduated Law from UC Hastings, how come you are firing me?””

  1. For this to be correct:
    – It would be illegal for a woman of one state to get pregnant from a man in another state.
    – A woman would need a background check in order to get pregnant.
    – A woman would need a 10 day waiting period in order to get pregnant.
    – A woman would not be permitted to have a child whose DNA was mostly from another country.
    – In certain states, she would not be permitted to get pregnant at all.
    – Children who were below a certain size would be classified as “any other children” and there would be a form required, a tax stamp obtained, and a year long wait for the form’s approval.
    – A woman giving birth to more than one child per pregnancy would have her uterus declared to be an “automatic uterus,” and would be required to register it with the Bureau of Automatic Toddler Fabrication (BATF), there would be a form, a $200 tax stamp, and a year long wait for approval. Additionally, any woman born AFTER May 19, 1986 will not be permitted to register her automatic uterus.
    – Any woman who has ever been convicted of a felony, child neglect, abuse, or any other crime of domestic violence would not be permitted to get pregnant. She could nominally apply to have her reproductive rights restored, but since Congress defunded the program, it will never be approved.

    11
    1. And:

      Uteri shall be locked up when not in use.
      Uteri shall not be allowed on airplanes.
      Uteri shall not be allowed in schools.
      Uteri shall be kept out of government buildings.
      Uteri shall be kept away from children.
      Potheads cannot possess uteri.
      Businesses can post signs “No uteri allowed.”
      Uteri shall be banned completely in New York, Chicago and Washington, DC.
      Uteri shall be severely restricted in Hawaii and California.
      Uteri will not be allowed anywhere alcohol is consumed.
      Uteri cannot be carried without a special permit.
      Uteri cannot be carried openly.
      Uteri will be prohibited from having certain popular accessories.

  2. And, should she be the subject of a (no hearing) “red flag” order, she would be required to surrender her uterus to the police.

    So, yeah, except for the fact that it’s a complete lie, sounds legit. Right on, Divemedic!

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