On Monday, the Department of Homeland Security announced that it will start the new Extra Enhanced Pat Downs that will include body cavity searches and will augment the power on the Body Scanners so they will be able to search up to 2 inches deep inside our bodies.

The announcement came after that massive document dump by WikiLeaks’s Julian Assange. Over a quarter of a million confidential and secret communications were released yesterday forcing Homeland Security to reinforce security at all airports. In an interview in NPR, TSA’s Chief John Pistole said that TSA Agents are being trained on the new procedures. “We are living in a new world of increased risks and the Extra Enhanced Pat Downs are a small sacrifice we all must make in order to be safe.”  When asked by a New York Times journalist if he thought that it made sense to increase security measures because of the WikiLeak affair, Mr. Pistole replied: “We are applying the same protocols we always had since the inception of TSA. Sense, common or otherwise have no relevance in what we do.”

An airline passenger undergoes a full body scan and Tanning Session with the newly released Chertoff-Scan Enhanced at O’Hare International Airport Wednesday,

The real Ted Shaffrey contacted me (3/20/2012) and informed me that the quote below was wrongfully attributed to him. He was kind enough to include the AP correction to the original story. You will see two “Ted” which officially mean “unknown idiot who enjoys being patted in the groin by TSA agents” and not Mr. Shaffrey.. Are we clear people?

Chicago (AP) _ In some versions of a Nov. 24, 2010, story about Thanksgiving holiday security at U.S. airports, The Associated Press wrongly attributed a comment supporting more invasive screening measures to AP reporter Ted Shaffrey. It was a traveler interviewed by Shaffrey who
said, “Tell all the people whining about getting patted down to remember 9/11. They’re all whine-bags.” In a paragraph attached to the story,
Shaffrey was correctly listed among AP contributors.

My apologies to Mr. Shaffrey and i hope that this correction helps clear any further problems or misconceptions people may have for somebody’s mistake in naming him the owner of the quote.

“Tell all the people whining about getting patted down to remember 9/11,” he said. “They’re all whine-bags.”

Hey Ted, call me silly but I seem to recall the 9-11 Terrorists were not carrying the box cutters in the groin.  And in case you think TSA Perverts are doing a good job with the scanners and the pat downs:

Feeling any safer yet Ted?

Maybe some enterprising soul would like to take this idea to the next level. Using metallic paint, have undershirts printed like this for the back scatter non-invasive scanner :

Wear it under your regular shirt and wait to see the faces of the TSA people when the message appears on their screens.

Flatus:Foul wind

Usus: To use, usage.

Teneus: To Hold

Securus: Free, secure

Animus: Willpower, Courage

<evil laugh>

TSA has now reached a new low. Not only they are giving you a federally protected sexual assault with every air trip you take, now that are the top “warriors” on the war against terrorism.

After a traveler punched a TSA screener in Indianapolis, TSA spokesman Jim Fotenos actually had the gall to say:

“Our transportation security officers work on the front lines to protect the nation from a terrorist attack and physical violence against them is shameful. TSA will work with local authorities to see that appropriate action is taken.”

I beg your pardon? Do you have the sanctified testicles to tell me that a barely literate pervert wearing a sleeveless sweater and a pair of surgical gloves is equal to our men and women that actually go every day against real terrorists? Do you have any shame in equating Beavis and Butthead with a cheap badge rummaging through grandma’s underpants (while grandma is wearing them) is the same thing as a soldier facing an actual armed terrorist ready to blow him and his buddies to kingdom come in the next three seconds if he don’t pull the trigger? A bad day as a TSA screener is when the airport Sbarro’s is out of fresh slices and has to wait or they catch heavy traffic on the way home. A bad day for our soldiers is when their next air trip is inside a metal box covered with the flag.
Don’t you DARE compare your Fondlers with the men and women of our armed forces fighting the real fight.

A Blogger refuses to be sexually molested by TSA.

Here we go!

I am afraid that the eventual arrest & trial for “assaulting” a Federal Pervert is coming. And I also see that short of people congregating around TSA headquarters and re-arranging the facade with improvised projectiles and assorted dung, the idea of this new enhanced groping will not be revisited.

In the never ending disconnect between Washington and the rest of the Nation, we are now faced with Federal-supported goons that are engaging in conducts that would earn any individual a lengthily stay in prison and an eternal felony jacket as Sexual Offender. TSA agents will probably get Christmas Bonuses.

But hey! You mustn’t protest! If you speak against this, you are anti-government, racist and probably looking to overthrow the “progressive” minds that are running our country. You must me one of them Militia types. So now shush and spread them, it is Amateur Gynecologist/Urologist Time!