I saw this on the news and, just wow…

Vegan runner asks neighbors to close windows when cooking meat with ‘offensive’ odor

A self-proclaimed “vegan runner” from Berkeley, California received backlash on Saturday after asking neighbors to close their windows when cooking meat because the smells were ‘overpowering and offensive.’

“Several nights a week I’m out running around dinnertime and when people have their windows open I can smell what they are cooking,” the request said. “I’ve noticed a sharp uptick recently in smells of folks cooking meat and it can be quite overpowering.”

“Quite honestly the odor is offensive and I’m hoping our community can have some empathy for its #plantbased neighbors by closing their windows if they are cooking meat and only putting vegetables on their bbq,” the runner added.

That level of hubris is usually only seen by the protagonists of Greek or Shakeprian tragedies just before they have sex with their mothers or eat their children.  It’s hard to fathom that in real life.  Then again, this person is a vegan from Berkely, so perhaps this is less a naturally born human as much as it is so much all of the smug self-righteousness in the area reaching critical mass and condensing into a sentient being, the way cosmic gas condenses into a star.

They didn’t want to be a stereotype but suggested people should “join the movement” should do some research on why the odor of cooking animals is offensive.

A vegan telling other people how to live in their own homes so as not to offend them – noting the gender-neutral pronoun “they” for the singular.  Just how stereotypical could they get?

Now, I know that most of the readers here are thinking:

“What I’m going to do is buy a case of frozen burger patties and a case of bacon at Costco and have a grill-out outside in time for this fucker to run by and get a lung full of meaty goodness.”

And you are right to do that because fuck them with a Hilshire Farm Yard ‘o Beef.

But I’m feeling particularly angry at this dude, so I want to up the ante.

Some neighbors need to find out where this person lives.  Then they need to have said grill-out.

Then they need to invite the local homeless population to camp out in their yard eating said hamburgers.  Much like feeding pigeons in the park.

Maybe the smell of several hundred stinking vagrants, shitting on their property, will cover up the smell of cooked meat.

There is only one way to find out.

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By J. Kb

4 thoughts on “Outside the box solution to this jerk”
  1. All the neighbors all around him cook and grill meat everyday for a month. Set yer motion activaed sprinklers out by the road. Have the grill goin and be waterin the lawn when this asshole goes by. Get yer buddy with the 9000 hp diesel truck to go by with his foot in it. Make this pompous assholes life miserable. I am sick and tired of the fuktards forcing their twisted views on everyone. Suk it up nancy boy

  2. None of that is likely to happen. Instead, Berkley will probably enact a law that requires closed windows, air scrubbing, and planting of fragrant botanicals in order to avoid offending a single person.

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