To take this further down the rabbit hole, the below post was from the Book of Faces. I had originally responded to a Dem friend’s statement regarding Republicans and hate (I do not have permission to share her post or the resulting comments, unfortunately). I am sharing it here, along with my commentary that I moved to my own wall. I am so tired of the yawning maw of division.


On another wall, a discussion was ensuing. In an effort not to pee on that person’s virtual carpet, I am bringing my part of the conversation here. No, I do not have permission to share what the other people said. So the only “side” I can present is my own, sadly.

I wrote (as a response):
“So it’s a lot deeper than that. And reducing it to what you did basically is repeating what you think they’re doing to you. How does that fix anything or make anything better? I’m not Republican and I’m not Democrat, because of statements like this on both sides. It’s also why I don’t talk about politics with people very often. There are tons of nuances on all sides of this and I agree with some of what the Republicans have to say and some of what the Democrats have to say. Largely though, I don’t agree with either side has to say, and I’m frustrated and tired and depressed over watching people that I love reduce really complex issues that have real facts and feelings and depth to them, to basically… “They are bad and we are good.” 🥺


It doesn’t really matter what we were talking about. The divide between Left and Right is so huge that neither side seems to be willing to even look in the direction of the other. There’s this staunch belief that if a single word the other side has to say is listened to, then somehow it’s a betrayal of everything you believe in.

This has got to stop.

There ARE nuances, on both sides of the divide. For example, after being told in several threads on several walls that Republicans hate trans kids, and that Republicans just want trans kids to die, I find myself at a complete loss. I know a ton of Republicans, and some of them even have trans kids of their own, and none of them hate trans kids, and they definitely don’t want any of them to die. When that argument is reduced to that bottom line, which is at best a reflection of the worst and most over the top Right thought and at worst a cartoon reflection of reality, all it does is feed into fear.

For example, I’ve been told in many threads on many walls that Democrats just want to kill babies. They want those babies to die. Once again, I’m at a loss. I know a ton of Democrats, and not one of them hates pregnant women, or wants to take their children or fetuses away. None of them want to kill children. Are there a few whack-nuts out there who say those things? Yes, and I’ve heard them with my own ears. But they’re whack-nuts, not thinking Democrats, and I don’t see them as reflecting the Left as a whole. If I did, I would be seeing only the “cartoon reflection of reality” and I’d only be feeding into fear.

The above two arguments are just representative ones of the Left and the Right. The media feeds into this frenzy, making it worse on all fronts by doing nothing more than posting up shocker headlines designed to rile you. All they do is feed the fear.

Do you know how to combat fear? Hint: you don’t shoot it, and you don’t threaten to kill it, and you sure as hell don’t silence it. Silenced fear either builds relentlessly until it bubbles up and destroys things like an emotional explosion, or it hides underground and breeds in the darkness, making everything that much worse.

Combat fear by facing it. Combat fear by looking it in the eye and standing tall and straight. Combat fear with education, with learning, with knowledge, with facts.

Until y’all stop this petty fear mongering, it’s never going to get better. I’m tired of seeing the people I love slinging shit at one another.


Alright, back to original writing for GFZ.

I found it interesting that the original poster felt it was important that I not share her words or argument. I had thought that, on the face of it, she would want her words posted because they represented her relatively well. While I didn’t agree with her original post, it wasn’t badly written, and it contained important stuff IMO. The response I made was then responded to by a leftist who basically said that if I didn’t agree with her and the original poster, then I wanted trans kids dead. I sat there reading it on my phone, looking at my trans kid, going wtf? The angry leftist is someone who knows me personally, face to face, btw. It’s not like it was a faceless entity on the intrawebz.

By the time I got to a computer to type responses, several of the responses had been deleted. I am thankful that the OP didn’t delete MY posts, but there were several parts of the conversation that someone deleted. Dirty deletes are abhorrent to me. I will sometimes shut a conversation down (lock it so no further commentary can be made), but I never delete unless there’s something illegal said that I think will get me booted off the Book of Faces. Even then, sometimes, I leave it up. I can stand on my own two argumentative feet, and I don’t need to dirty delete to keep my arguments cogent.

What I would have said about trans kids is that most of the Republicans that I personally know have no hatred for trans people. They have valid (imo) concerns about medically interfering with underage youths using untested procedures, yes. They have decided, as I personally have, that if a child isn’t old enough to decide to drink, if a child isn’t old enough to drive, and if a child isn’t old enough to vote, get a piercing, or choose to get a tattoo, then they should not be old enough to choose to have a portion of their bodies surgically removed, and they shouldn’t be seen as old enough to choose to mess with hormones we barely understand anyhow. That’s a FAR cry from hating trans kids.

What I would have said about abortion is that I don’t know any Democrats who hate pregnant people, or want them to terminate wanted children. I hear from those I personally know a valid (imo) concern about linking abortion bans with contraception bans, which is a Bad Thing (period… that one isn’t even IMO, it’s just fact). I hear concerns about abortion bans not allowing for cases of incest, rape, or abuse. I hear horror at the thought of women who have medically unviable babies in their bellies, being forced to carry them to term because the fatality won’t cause the infant to die UNTIL it’s born. Since it’s just fine in the womb, the abortion bans stand. Having a sister who had to sit with a dead fetus inside her due to a screw up by doctors in Maryland, I can tell you it’s not a nice thing. While I can agree that there’s a moment, currently undefined, where a fetus becomes a baby, and a person, I don’t know where that legally ought to happen… but I know that six weeks is too damn early, and 22 weeks is way too damn late. Regardless, none of my Dem friends are interested in “late term abortions” (defined as post 30 weeks for this conversation). A very tiny handful feel it should be allowed until then under certain circumstances, mostly allowing for health (including mental) of the mother, but most are happy enough to draw the line at 21 weeks, which is current viability. Whether I’m happy with that or not doesn’t matter… none of it is calling for the killing of babies that are born, or for the death of mothers, or the forcing of termination of pregnancies, which are the “terror de jour” I sometimes hear about in my media blasts.

And none of the above matters at all, to be quite frank. I say it again, and I’ll continue to say it until I’m blue in the face, even when it irritates pretty much everyone who knows and loves me. Until we can bridge this divide, NOTHING is going to get better.

Vote for Nikki Haley. Yay team.



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By hagar

4 thoughts on “There Is No Middle”
  1. Saw your post Hagar just before I was about to leave the office and go back to work. Good post. Both side carry a lot of straw on their backs, always ready to construct a straw man and set it on fire to prove it’s not of any enduring substance.
    This line is very good – “Combat fear by facing it. Combat fear by looking it in the eye and standing tall and straight. Combat fear with education, with learning, with knowledge, with facts.”
    The Truth will always set us free.

  2. “…after being told in several threads on several walls that Republicans hate trans kids, …”
    And, that is the problem. Too many people, on both sides of the political spectrum, assume that statements they disagree with are “hate.” They are not.
    It is possible to want a secure border without hating immigrants. It is possible to support marriage as a religious rite between a man and a woman without hating gays. Hate is not a factor in most, if not all political stances. But, it is an easy way to dismiss opinions and stances one disagrees with. Put anything the left wants into the above sentences, and there will be similar responses from the right.
    Another point. Going straight to “hate” is childish. It is the sign of an intellectually weak mind, an emotionally driven individual. Children do not solve problems, they escalate them until a fight happens, or an adult intervenes.
    Look, the reality is both the left and the right want to make the USA, and the world, a better place. That is not the issue. It is how they are going about it that causes the conflict. And, the conflict will never be resolved if neither side is willing to acknowledge the other side has the same ultimate goal in mind. Granted, some goals are so antithetical that nothing will resolve the divide, but in reality, the left and the right can get along.
    We just need to start acting like adults, not toddlers.

  3. As they say in the hills-“ ya wit me or agin me”..
    “Moderates” are willing to talk about differences. Radicals esp liberals resort to name calling and screaming at you like the children they are…
    Division is the new normal.. we gotta learn to live with it or get away from it and thats hard to do these days…. We the People have a long hard row to hoe. We have to be more involved in local politics as nauseating as it is. Or we all need to move to an area of the country enmass and form a new America.. give the liberals the new england states and we all go. Ship out criminals and crazies to em. Let them have thier “utopia “

  4. If everything is hate nothing is. Is everything is violence nothing is. If everything is fascism nothing is.
    Things get framed in the most extreme way possible, hate/violence/fascism/etc. This is to shut down conversation because it can almost never survive even the most basic scrutiny. Someone is doing it on purpose,any people play along because they are ignorant or misguided.

Only one rule: Don't be a dick.

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