This from Slate:
We’re Raising Our Daughter Gender-Neutral, but She Only Wants Pink Dresses
Where did we mess up?
My husband and I have a frequent disagreement on our 3-year-old and her love for dresses and all things pink! For the first two years of her life, she was constantly mistaken for a boy because she wore gender-neutral clothes. We direct her towards books and other media that do not represent traditional gender roles (no sparkle princesses!). We ask friends and family to refrain from commenting on her appearance and clothing, if they can help it, and to instead focus on skills or interests. However, our daughter adores the color pink, insists on wearing dresses, and is currently obsessed with accessories. I am fine with this, though I hope it will be a phase.
After a few battles about wearing her sole pink dress when it was dirty, my daughter and I did some online shopping together and she chose a few more dresses to order (all of them were pink, obviously). My husband is unhappy that I encouraged her obsession by purchasing the dresses and letting her wear some of my old jewelry. He gets annoyed when dresses get tangled while climbing a rock or running and says that dresses and accessories aren’t suitable for doing most things. I appreciate his commitment to raising our daughter without gender stereotypes, but I also want to encourage her to make her own choices. I feel like if we push back too hard on her love for dresses and jewelry, it will backfire, and she will only become more obsessed! Help!
This question reveals something very dark and malicious.
Whenever I had heard talk about “gender-neutral” parenting, the idea was that the child is raised gender-neutral until the child decides what he/she wants.
This little girl clearly has chosen to be a girly-girl. That’s what she wants.
Mom and dad refuse to accept it. They are disappointed that their daughter wants to be a girl in pink.
Why? Why would they be disappointed in that?
Because this was never about the little girl choosing what she wanted to be.
This is everything about the parents waiting to be acknowledged and praised for having a gender-neutral, androgynous, or even transgender daughter. Notice how the mother says, with an almost palpable sense of pride, “For the first two years of her life, she was constantly mistaken for a boy because she wore gender-neutral clothes.”
You can tell that they are terrified that their daughter will continue to act like a girl who likes girl things, and then they can’t parade around their gender-neutral woke parenting around.
I’d go so far to say that they are upset that they are missing out on basking in all the glory and praise of having a “stunning and brave” transgender child.
Their daughter isn’t a daughter to them. Their daughter is an opportunity for them to demonstrate to the world how woke they are as parents.
This is child abuse.
People have been trying this type of behavioral programming since the 60s at a minimum. It was very popular in the Nordic countries of Europe for some years and no matter how much they tried, when given a chance boys would turn to Boy’s stuff and girls would end up with dolls. The only thing they could not try was perfect isolation from the outside world till they were 25.
“I am fine with this, though I hope it will be a phase.”
Clearly she isn’t “fine” with it.
“He gets annoyed when dresses get tangled while climbing a rock or running and says that dresses and accessories aren’t suitable for doing most things.”
Hubby is making excuses too … ever hear of a kilt?
No … these two are being dishonest with each other and themselves from the start, and I have to wonder about what else.
Who says you can’t climb trees and play in the mud while wearing frilly dresses? I think doing so would definitely be demonstrative of a “commitment to raising our daughter without gender stereotypes.”
– The Wife, who played in the dirt and climbed trees while wearing frilly dresses
their kid is an “accessory” for them to virtue signal just how woke they are. I hope the poor kid grows up normal and not emotionally crippled…
…But, that is not the way to bet!
A gentler reply to them is from Gibran’s “The Prophet”:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
It’s funny how many of these sort of parents have heard this but have let their ideology override everything they’ve learned. They deserve to have their daughter grow up to be a Republican.
Thanks Borepatch. I know some of his work (we have “The Prophet” around somewhere), but that one is new to me. Beautiful and very well said.
Wow… when I was a kid, there were the parents that refused to purchase “gender stereotypical” toys for their kids. Nothing wrong with a girl playing with trucks, or a boy having a doll. But, that was NOTHING like this.
Seriously, I agree, this is child abuse. If this poor child insists on being a girl, they will probably send her to therapy to get rid of such horrific thoughts. Too bad her mother did not feel the same way.
Somebody’s pulling your chain, dear. That is satire and I suspect Babylon Bee.
These morons who’re ‘pushing’ the whole “Trans” thing onto their kids have -no idea- what sort of nightmare it -truly- is. My daughter (now ‘son’) went “trans” back when being Gay wasn’t enough at age 15. We always knew she was ‘walking on the other side of the grass’, and were cool w/it… however, the Trans thing was a bridge too far, and despite all the tries and assists we attempted to get for her/him, it went completely sideways. I’m Divorced now, and haven’t spoken to nor seen her in going on 5 years, and not b/c I don’t accept it, but because she tries -too hard- and denies basic facts and is brainwashed… she’s going to end up dead eventually… the suicide rate for these kids is in the 60-70 percentile…