Gun Free Zone

Since Homeland Security has now announced that those who refuse to get microwaved by the new “whole-body imagers” will be subjected to an in deep, up close and no holds barred body search, I do hereby declare that if I can’t make the trip via land, I am not making it (Water traveling was self-verbotten many years ago when I discovered that I actually get seasick in a cruise ship tied to the dock.)

I know that the first SOB that grabs me by the boys is going to get a response that I am going to end up in Federal prison for. And if I see any male approaching my wife with intentions of placing his hands where I know I have absolute rights of Fondling (other then her Ob-Gyn), such male will be used as a test for “Can you use a Boeing 747 turbine as Cuisinart and create TSA Salsa?”

Why do I get the feeling that every sexual pervert not in the NICS system is suddenly applying for a position in TSA? I swear I can hear the rush of printers spitting out resignations from catholic priests and printing the resumes to take to the nearest TSA office.

Also, there is no frigging way that I will allow myself to be subjected to an electronic version of “Welcome to Auschwitz, now get naked ’cause we wanna make sure you ain’t hiding a darn thing.” I am guessing that Frequent Fliers will soon be recognized by the glow in the dark tan they will acquire after extensive “harmless” scans.

And you know what really ticks me off. The Government spent a boatload of our tax money bringing to life a nerd’s dream of the old school X-Ray glasses.

This is today’s Miami Herald’s Online poll. Since English is not my native language, it must be a nuance I don’t get.

If you figure out how to respond, let me know.

“Why Do East Tennesseans Love Their Guns?” is a well written article by Jesse Fox Mayshar who appears to be a Non-Gunner. None of the snide remarks we are used to or condescending tones.

The closing is one I agree with

Unlike some gun enthusiasts, he doesn’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with anyone who doesn’t want to own a gun (or 19 of them). But he does wish that people who don’t like guns could just think of it the way he thinks of golf: as something that other people enjoy, for some unfathomable reason.

“You really don’t have to understand it,” he says, almost plaintively. “I hate to use this buzzword, but I will: It’s tolerance.”

In other words, gun people say: We’re here. Don’t fear. Just get over it.

Mr Mayshar deserves kudos for a good article. It is thoughtful and amazingly deep. He did a darn good job of presenting rather than judging.

Sharp as a Marble points out that Floridian’s blood turn to slushie when temps drop below the 50° mark. And even though I can see the instant smirk from our brothers and sisters up north, I want to let them know that our temps just do not drop but implode. At more Northern latitudes, they go through an adjustment period called Fall when their 2 weeks tops of “heat” they have in Summer, gently slides down over a period of months to a freeze-your-butt frigidity. We are not that lucky since apparently LIN, the God of Weather decide to do cast his magic gas and the temp drops almost 50 degrees overnight after eight months of Two Degrees Hotter Than Hell weather.

I am betting on snow this winter and not the one from Colombia.

Where the hell are my socks?

Still more old stuff found in old back ups.

What’s in Jack Bauer’s bag?

Three vials of sodium pentothal
Chase’s other arm- there is no way that Jack was unaware that Chase broke Kim’s heart. Jack always gets his revenge.
Copy of CTU Distress Codes (2004 Edition)
Three Cruise missiles
Four pairs of flexicuffs
Sun Tzu’s The Art of War
Medieval Iron Maiden
Pair of pearl-handled Colt revolvers
Habib Marwan’s heart
Sunglasses
Cell phone and PDA chargers
Band-Aids
Swiss Army knife
Box of Powerbars
Two Fruit Punch Gatorades
Change of underwear
Schematics of every building in Los Angeles
Two claymore anti-personal mines
Driver’s License, Helicopter Pilot’s License, Airplane Pilot’s License, SCUBA certification card, CPR certification card, Frequent Finagler card
Bamboo shoots (for torture)
Branding irons (for torture)
Three pints of type sensitive blood
iPod
Kim’s senior portrait from high school
Approximately 17,000 9mm bullets
Flare gun
Night vision goggles
Centrum A-Zinc vitamins
Copy of Barstool Sports
Arab-English dictionary, Spanish-English dictionary, Farsi-English dictionary, Russian-English dictionary
Heroin
Mass Card for Edgar’s wake
Hit List
Picture of him and Tony Almeida performing “Love Is a Battlefield” at CTU: Los Angeles’ Annual Karaoke Christmas Party
Business Cards
Pepper Spray
AK-47
Altoids
Gas Mask
EpiPen
Ticket for year long vacation, flight leaves tomorrow at 8:30 AM