I tried to write it nice so I don’t come out like a jerk, but I just couldn’t find the words so here it goes: I think there is a lot of bullcrap about the application of oriental philosophy in our western lives. It seems that if something was written by some guy with a sing-songy name a couple or three centuries ago, it must have a great relevance and we must bow to the knowledge imparted there because well, it is one of them oriental wise men, you know?

I was told by doctor that acupuncture was going to make me quit smoking. I suffered through the needles and came out wanting a big cigar and a fifth of JD which is weird because I don’t like cigars and don’t drink. Herbal Medicine? Got me a nice case of gastritis that is still with me 20 years later. Have you actually tried real chinese food? Most of it is boiled and bland or just plain gagging. That is why soy sauce is available: it is the oriental equivalent of ketchup or Tabasco, you gotta hide the original flavor.

But the Lord knows that my Mom must have dropped me on my head a couple of times because I heeded the advice of some and decided to read on some Far East classical authors on warfare and how it may apply to Personal Defense. I know I might upset some much more knowledgeable and famous folks than myself but I am sorry to say the knowledge them suckers in kimonos “share” do not apply to Civilian Self Defense. I dusted  my copy of The Art of War and added it to my newly acquired copy of The Book of Five Rings to see what knowledge I might absorb.

The Book of Five Rings is about swordfighting, samurai/ronin style. Legend has it that Miyamoto Musashi was a serious hombre with the sword who never lost a match against its adversaries or even got a cut anywhere on the pajama. The book was originally a scroll that Musashi wrote attempting to explain his approach to sword fighting so most of it will not apply to gun skills. One good thing about his literary approach is that he is not “educated” so he dispenses with most of the flowery language common to Japanese and most oriental writers. In the same book I got, the editors also latch on a copy of The Book of Family Traditions on the Art of War by Yagyu Munenori who is “educated and you feel you need a weed eater and the Sierra Club Guide to Japanese Arbor and Flowers to read through it. Munenori’s teachings also apply to sword fighting but more as a combat & battlefield tactics than a civilian self defense issue.

Some of you are now steaming out of your ears thinking “How dare he mock such great and noble warriors? I will throw down the gauntlet right here and now! Katanas at 10 paces sir!” Well, take it easy and pick up your metal glove, I believe in long range acquisition with a modern firearm if possible. Yes, i will cheat, screw the rest. Why am I so “disrespectful” about Samurai (and also about knights while we are at it)? Because they were a bunch of elitists jackasses for the most part, wielding absolute power with their steel and their techniques. The little people were not humans and just basically target practice or ready-to-abuse subjects for these people. I am from the “Great Equalizer” School of Thought which sees a weapon (firearms) as the reset button of a society. Not every Joe had the money, position or budget to avail himself of a good sword, accouterments and training time to master swordsmanship.  Yet a simple tube propelling a lead ball shot by a peasant can manage to bring down and abusive cast of assholes. I don’t know why but that easiness to inflict deadly force to a mini dictator brings a warm fuzzy to my heart. We have romanticized so much samurais and knights that we ignore or conveniently forget that they were nothing more than petty Stalins who had the power of absolute life and death over their subjects and no sense of justice but their own desires. Somehow learning anything out of them makes me think that it is like learning medicine from the notes of Dr. Mengele’s experiments at Auschwitz II-Birkenau.

Still, I sat down with a pen and a highlighter to collect the alleged pearls of wisdom and did mark some interesting passages, but there was this nagging feeling on the back of my head that kept saying: “You read this before in a much simple and understanding format….You read this before in a much simple and understanding format….you moron. Think!” Then, around 3 am my degrading brain finally kicked open the file drawer and pulled out the card with the recorded info. There is a modern Book of Five Rings written by a modern warrior who applied his knowledge to teach the common folk how to defend themselves. Not an elitist (except when it came to one’s pursue of excellence with a firearm) and with a no BS view of the world without any chrysanthemums or Cherry Blossoms to adorn his writings: The Late Colonel Jeff Cooper and his excellent booklet Principles of Personal Defense. Forget Musashi, Munenori, Sun Tzu, P. F. Chang’s and Lt. Sulu, just get this book and digest its 56 pages. It will do more for your training and mindset foundation that 10 years in a Shaolin Monastery trying to snatch a pebble out of some white bearded guy’s hand. Its simplicity will astound you and its frankness may freak you out some. But it is God’s honest truth when it comes to Self Defense.

As for the Book of Five Rings, it goes next to the Art Of War to the uppermost shelf with the rest of the book I might want to check some day in the next decade if I need to recall a passage. I think I might be ordering some more Cooper books to absorb more of this modern Master & Teacher.

And if you are still insulted by my lack of respect for the Ancient Oriental Know-It-Alls, it is a feeling, you’ll get over it eventually… or not. I really do not care.

I just got back from Barnes & Noble to fend off my insatiable craving for books. I was after Tales from the Stakeout Squad by Paul Kirchner and The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi. After 45 minutes of searching, I decided to ask the Customer Help desk to locate the books. No joy on the Cirillo book according to the associate but they did have a copy of Musashi’s book. The lady left the kiosk and instead of taking a left and head for Military books (like it appears in the website) she made a right. I followed her to a row near the entrance where she pulled out the volume and gave it to me. I thanked her but I was kinda surprised at the location… under books for Business Management.

Somehow I don’t see a Katana being used much in Corporate America (or Corporate Japan for that matter), specially with the No Weapons policy in most workplaces. Just in case I might have to carry if I get called to the main office.

A crew from the United States Air Force spent Saturday night and Sunday morning airlifting different groups of wounded soldiers from Kandahar to Camp Bastion to Bagram, back to Kandahar, then back to Bagram, and back to Kandahar. These patients were from Afghanistan, Australia, Canada, and the United States. Here, an Air Force nurse caresses the head of a wounded, unconscious Canadian soldier while whispering into his ear. Photo & Story by Michael Yon.

Uniquely designed to destroy the delicate Everglades ecosystem, the Ford EF Everglades equally grinds over alligators, swamp deer, snakes, Palmetto fronds, wild pigs, vines and the occasional Earth Lover communing with the swamp mosquitoes. It spews 3 tons of choking diesel smoke per gallon and the noise shakes baby birds out of their nests.

H/T to SayUncle for the original meme idea.

I am an advocate of Action Shooting Sports for the enormous benefits a shooter can derive. Static Range will only give you a measurement of Marksmanship & Gun Handling in a quiet, pressure-less environment but it is a myth that goes down the drain the second you are under the slightest influence of adrenalin.  I have seen shooters that felt pretty good about their craft in a static range become a bowl of ticked off pudding when they are under a timer and must move or face moving targets. Action Shooting Sports will give a shooter an initial measurement of what he ir she will do when the cow chips hit the wind power turbines.

The other thing(s) you get when competing against other shooters is an instantly available pool of knowledge yours for the observing and asking. You will see a technique that you did not know almost in every match and will try it. It may work or it might not but you have something you did not have before and that is golden. And if you are having troubles adapting that technique, have no doubt that somebody will me very willing to teach you the finer points till you get it right.

There is also a sense of camaraderie among individuals that are usually fiercely independent. It is a meeting of liked-minded folks that breathe the sport and will discuss, test, argue and advertise different schools of tactics, themes or trainings received. Backstabbing is almost non-existent you can let your hair down and make mistakes knowing that any catcalling will be done without malice: just friends laughing with you instead of at you. Information about just anything guns will be shared in between sips of Gatorade, mineral water and an occasional cloud of tobacco smoke. After Match meals to relax and comment anything and everything happen quite often if you wish to attend. And even if you do not attend, nobody feels offended because you did not partake on the meal: they understand because they are like you.

I am the least gregarious person you’ll ever meet. If you happen to visit me at home, I have no qualms on telling that I like you (you have my address so a certain level of liking is present, otherwise you don’t even get my zip code) but that it is time for you to leave the premises because I need my alone time. Even so I enjoy thoroughly my IDPA Matches with the shooting, bantering, jokes, arguments, discussion and even the occasional bartering that happens, specially if the wife never finds out.

So, join a Action Shooting Club to learn and have fun. It is the cheapest therapy in town. Although truth be told, we are a bit crazy sometimes.

If we weren’t, why would be come out to shoot in a Saturday morning in Miami with 40 degree weather, winds at 15 m.p.h and a constant drizzle while standing in two inches deep of very cold mud? 🙂

… will be dare to do the following when their local temperature rises again to 42.

1. Turn off any heating systems.
2. Open all windows.
3. Wear only summer clothes. (Sandals or flip flops are acceptable)
4. Deal with winds between 10 to 25 mph.

Most houses and living quarters in South Florida do not have any kind of heating other than the kitchen oven. Also they are built to reject heat, not absorb it. You could not find a portable heater in any store anywhere because the dozen there were available in the Four County area were snatched in the first 30 seconds of the first cold front but most hurricane lamps and Coleman Gas Lamps will help heat up a room till the carbon monoxide alarm goes off.  Winter clothing? There is not such thing as wool or down in South Florida. There were riots in the local WalMarts for hoodies and Long Johns (Old guys with canes are mean as hell and can swing hard. In a pinch they will pitch their dentures at you like a the Senior’s version of a shuriken). We are wearing construction gloves to protect our hands and about 4 pair of socks.

Next hippie that talks to me about Global Warming will get a free shave and a haircut with my grass trimmer.

To this outstanding faux Ford Ad flipping the ugly middle finger at Audi’s Green Police Superbowl commercial. Standing ovation to Sharp as a Marble.