Month: July 2011

“Yes Your Highness….” Damned Cat!

Missy is a rescued cat that my wife and my mother got from the Humane Society of Broward County. She was a little nothing barely bigger than my hand when we got her, but apparently we feed pets rather well plus we suspect she has some Maine Coon in her because she has grown quite a bit in these last 5 years. Plus she is pampered as only cats can be.

Today I woke up around 3:30 am and decided to do some long overdue writing. Before I could do much, Your Highness Missy I demanded her share of foodstuffs. I complied faithfully, she ate and promptly disappeared to the couch for her pre-sleep nap. I was rewarded with two and a half hours of uninterrupted work time and was able to make progress in my article. Missy has one weird trait (among many others) that she does not say “meow” but “mee” which is proper to her royal “gimme-gimme” attitude. It is also quite annoying when you are trying to concentrate on something or sleep, two events happening in my home when she started her demands.

MIssy: Mee! Mee! (sounding ‘pretty please’)

Me: “For the love of God! I just fed you. Shush!

Missy: Meeeee! (demanding ‘pretty please’)

Me, “No and stop it. You had a full can of that Fancy Feast crap and a bowl of hard food.”

Missy: Meee! (sounding sad and hungry)

Mom: (from her room) Dale de comer a la gata! (Feed the cat)

Wife: (from her room) Feed the cat!

Me: She was fed…ya le di de comer!

Missy: Meeeeee! (You are lying! Mommy, Grammy he did not!)

Wife: Just feed her something before she wakes up everybody.

Me: You are awake, Mom is awake, I am awake. Who is left?

Missy: Meeeeeee! (Grammy, come save me!)

Mom: Yo le doy de comer (I’ll feed her)

Me: No Mama, yo le doy. (No Mom, I’ll do it.)

Missy: Meeeee! (Fool! you tried to ignore me but I have bested you!)

Me: I swear I am gonna give you a bath and shave your tail if you don’t stop.

Wife: No you won’t! Not if you wanna live in this house!

Mom: Que fue lo que dijo? (What did he say?)

Wife: (Translates my early threat to Spanish)

Mom: Si le haces daño a la gata, te mato! (If you harm the cat, I’ll kill you!)

Me: Si Mama (resigned)

Missy: Mee! (Well, what are you waiting?)Feed Me you poor vassal!

As much as sometimes she irks the living colon out of me, I can’t stay mad at her long. Even when I have to type this one handed because she is on top of my left hand, holding it like a teddy bear and purring like a finely tuned Ferrari. It is the purring that disarms us.

I am so screwed.

Fast & Furious Race Card.

Via Michael Blane’s Blog I found out about Ruben Navarrette’s article where he pulls out not quite so gently the race card in order to extract the Obama’s Administration enchiladas out of the oven before they get overly toasted in reference to the Democrat’s crappy attempt to introduce new anti-gun legislation that (as usual) will not solve the crime problem and specially the Drug Wars in Mexico and as a cover up for the disastrous Gunrunner scandal.

Maybe Ruben was watching reruns of Glee or sipping on a double Non-Fat Decaf Cafe con Leche while oogling at Shakira on Youtube when the congressional hearing about Operation Fast and Furious was on C-Span and missed this little testimony by ATF Special Agent John Dodson:

[T]here was a prevailing attitude amongst the group and outside of the group in the ATF chain of command… I was having a conversation with Special Agent [L] about the case in which the conversation ended with me asking her are you prepared to go to a border agent’s funeral over this… because that’s going to happen. And the sentiment that was given back to me by both her, the group supervisor, was that…if you are going to make an omelette [sic], you need to scramble some eggs.”

Dear Ruben, in case you have not figured it out by now, the result of Fast and Furious has been indeed an omelet created by cracking hundreds of brown Mexican eggs with the weapons that this administration let on purpose (and illegally) fall in the hands of the Cartels. But to make things equal, at least two American Law Enforcement eggs were added to the mix just to add that special flavor of Equal Fuck Up And Death For All.

Estimado Ruben: Your very lame attempt of repeating the old narrative that NRA members are a bunch of racist rednecks dressed in white sheets burning crosses in front of the local taco stand falls flatter than a fresh tortilla. High officers of this administration did allow with intent, for weapons to be smuggled into Mexico where they killed hundred of Mexican Nationals, Such action demonstrated a total disregard for your fellow Latinos in another country. If this had happened during a Republican administration, you’d be in front of the White House lawn alongside members of La Raza, frothing at the mouth and demanding that the whole place be burned down and the Republican President be hanged by the neck. But instead you chose to be a sycophant for this Democrat President and a party that has done more to keep minorities under the chains of poverty and ignorance than whatever Nathan Bedford Forrest could have envisioned.

You are nothing more than a Tio Tomas, a plantation driver getting intellectual breadcrumbs from the Master’s table. It is about time you grow a pair of cojones and emancipate your mind.