I spend time each evening listening to TikTok videos. They’re short, and I follow a bunch of really funny people. They make me laugh, and are often a source of relaxation for me. Lately, though, I’ve had a spate of odd ones show up in my feed. Bear with me here.

The first one is a person who is … obviously trans, male to female. She’s in a red dress with ridiculous lipstick that I’d call “slut colored”. But whatever… some people have bad fashion sense (I’m one of them, just in a different direction). Then she proceeds to “explain” to “cis women” that “we have to talk”. Sorry for all the quotes, I need to be clear that it isn’t ME saying it. And that I’m expressing… dislike. In any case, this “lady” (in quotes because her attitude is not lady-like) then explains that we women need to stop calling ourselves women. We need to stop saying woman, and breastfeeding, and mother, and a bunch of other gendered words.

Most of the iterations of that particular video are what we call a “stitch”. It’s when you start showing someone’s video (in this case, the “lady in red”) and then break in and make your own commentary. Most of the commentary I’ve been seeing is from women. Angry women. And they’re women across the spectrum: left, right, white, black, old, young. More old than young, though, definitely. They’re all saying the same thing, however. They’re telling the “lady in red” to stuff it, all corners, in a variety of interesting and often both polite and educated ways.

I’ve found it fascinating, because the responses are SO across the divide. The only clear defining thing is that the older women are most vehement, I think because we spent so long fighting for equality in a bunch of different venues.

There are several replies that I found to be truly educational. These women were strong, and they put their responses in words that I wish I had thought up. Some of my favorites (all paraphrased, be aware):

When you go to Starbucks, do you order “coffee” or “caffeinated coffee”? You order “coffee”. Why? Because that’s the natural state of coffee: caffeinated. If you want decaffeinated coffee, you can order it. Some people will look askance at you, but it’s your right, you’re an adult, go right ahead and drink the dirty water like the heathen you are. 😉 But there’s nothing WRONG with asking for decaf. Just don’t expect it to be the default. The same is true with trans women. You want to be a trans woman, fine. BE ONE. But leave me and mine alone, because we *aren’t* trans women. We’re just women. Just like we like coffee. Not decaf coffee.


I am a mother, a woman, and I breast fed my kids. They are labels and things that I simply AM. I will always be these things regardless of what someone else chooses. You can choose to be a trans woman, or chest feed. Go for it. That’s YOUR decision. But you trying to make ME change MY terms? That’s domination. There is a “baseline”, we can all agree on that, because otherwise, there would be nothing to transition from or to. Men are not being asked to change their words (penis, prostate, etc) to make people more comfortable. Just women. And they’re only being asked that by trans women… who used to be men, who have canalized men’s thinking. There’s nothing WRONG with them wanting to be trans women, but they have to stop acting like men and asking women to suppress their own womanhood to make the trans women feel more comfortable. This is internalized misogyny. Use whatever terms you like for yourself… but those are all alternatives to baseline terminology.

I will admit, I had not noticed that similar changes were not being asked of men in regards to trans men. I went and actually looked, because I wondered if it were true. It is. These demands for women to change their language, their own labels, their self-worth in many cases, are not coming from anyone who was, at any point, a biological woman. And they are not being lobbed at biological men by trans men. These are important things to note, because they indicate that it’s not a “trans problem”… it’s a man problem.

Now, before you go all gaga on me, understand, I like strong men. I like men with beards, who are covered in sawdust (man glitter), who can handle a shotgun and a gutting knife. Those men aren’t the problem. YOU men aren’t the problem (meaning those I’ve interacted with here on GFZ).

The problem appears to be ONLY with men who have decided to become women, but who are doing so to gain something outside of self-satisfaction.

You might ask why that’s important. Let me explain. I have a number of trans friends. Most, you’d never know. My friend Charlie, she looks like a girl (so so so like a girl… more than me LOL), talks like a girl, dresses like a girl, walks like a girl, talks like a girl. She sits down to pee. She’s a girl. If you met her in public, you’d assume she was a girl, as much as you’d assume I’m a girl (maybe more LOL). And you’d be right. She’s not the problem. She went through what she did to become a girl, having been born in a male body, because SHE’S A GIRL.

The problem (IMO of course) is those who have decided that their current discomfort in themselves, their lack of self-esteem, their inability to meet mates or make friends, comes because they have a penis. They’re not girls. I’m not even certain they’re boys, to be quite frank, but that’s a whole other conversation. There’s nothing about them that makes them female. They mistakenly believe that cutting off their offending appendage will suddenly make them likable, to everyone else and to themselves. And that is not the case.

Based solely upon my own observations (obviously biased), I would say that this is a new trend that comes about because the “incels” (to use the leftist term) are looking for yet another way to demand attention. I see true trans people as fitting in (aka “normal”), being comfortable in their new gender, because it is an external reflection of their internal selves. They tend to be well dressed, well spoken, well adjusted. These angry ex-men seem to be poorly dressed in outfits that often highlight the disparity between what they claim to be and what they are. They smear bright colored make-up across their faces, in almost a caricature of women.

When women across the field all call someone out for this kind of negative behavior, it can actually become a healing thing. We ladies need to remember that we can draw together. It’s part of “what we do”, often at a genetic level. It’s more than just women, though.

In observing this phenomenon, I have ended up populating my TikTok feed with a lot of stuff I normally wouldn’t. Suddenly, I’m seeing transTok, and I’m seeing people who are angry or upset about this whole thing. And they’re largely my age. It appears that the trans extremists have managed to irritate GenX to the point where we’ve been forced to stand up and do something. Damnit, get off my lawn!

Addendum several days after writing the base article:

So the people responding to this whole thing are not just women (I’m noting this here because this article was written over a period of two weeks while I actually went and looked things over). In fact, there are a number of people who are apparently trans who have been “passing” (meaning you can’t tell they used to be another gender) for 20 or more years, who are standing up. Why are they standing up? Because they want to make it crystal clear that the few people who are making these absurd claims are extremists. They’re not representative of the trans community. Well thank heavens for that. So now we have bio men and women AND trans men and women, speaking out against these … well, domestic terrorists is what they are, really.

I’ve talked a bit about media bias and how the media manipulates our viewpoints by feeding us things that they believe will sell to us. There are a grand total of four people who are behind this entire debacle. Four. This entire media storm has been brought about by LESS than a handful of people who are being ridiculous and borderline criminal (in my opinion). The only reason I’m not naming them is because I don’t want to give them anymore attention than they already have. If you go look it up, you’ll be flooded, I assure you.

I don’t care what you want to call yourself. If you want to be called JollyWhoopCat, I’ll do my best to remember that, and I’ll try not to giggle when I say it. But don’t expect me to change what I call myself. I believe we should be comfortable being individuals. I am who I am. I will use what terms I choose, for myself. I’ll try and be mindful of what other people want to call themselves. The ultimate in letting others live… but I expect the same in return.

The base issue with all of this, is that there are a few out there who want me to change myself, to make them more comfortable. The answer to that is quite simple: NO.

If you want to change yourself to be more comfortable (be that with piercings, tattoos, gender changes, dyed hair, whatever), I’ll hold your hand and support you. Go for it. I know people who find collecting firearms makes them more comfortable in their own skin. I’m good with that, too. Do not, however, be thinking you can change ME. Only I can do that, and in this case, I’m quite fine just as I am.

‘Nuff said. Discuss (or don’t… you do you, Boo).

Heuristic Hagar

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By hagar

4 thoughts on “A “Lady in Red””
  1. The slow creep towards anything other than full throated cheering and applause being considered the same as violence was the frog boil that many warned of. The media control from major sources and social sites allowed them to frame things to where they are now

    Your observation about the incel types is very well warranted in the same way middling athletes whose entire life is about affirmation through the sportsball do the same. Also related but different bucket of frogs are the people who pretend to be another race as part of their graft. Often the loudest supporters seem oddly interested in having access to kids or pressuring women into dating or having sex with them with no option to say no or else face social death and even loss of their job or home. The second those types figured out there was another social pressure to “win” by screaming about oppression/bigotry and the added bonus (in their twisted mind) of hurting the people they hate you could hear the cackling from a dozen yards.

    Some of these folks are truly damaged and need affirmation to satisfy their own issues instead of seeking the help they need and some just want to see the world burn. People are too difficult to paint in broad strokes.

    All that vs the people who just want to live their life and not draw attention to themselves, be good neighbors, and help others but whose voices are silenced. First by the minority screaming and then by the mass media who loves a spectacle. Like how the news always finds the biggest yokel in the trailer part to interview.

  2. If you want to change yourself to be more comfortable (be that with piercings, tattoos, gender changes, dyed hair, whatever), I’ll hold your hand and support you. Go for it.
    Well… I kind of agree with this. If we’re friends, of course I will support you to the limit my ethics and morals allow me to, even if it’s not to my personal taste (e.g. whole-body tattoos).
    If we’re not even acquaintances, let alone friends or colleagues, you have no basis whatsoever on which to call upon my interest and support in such matters. My baseline is “benign indifference” – you do you, if you’re not hurting me or mine, we’re all fine. I’ll treat you civilly as a fellow human being, and the interactions can go up or down from there based on how you treat me in return. However, as Bad Dancer says, demanding my approbation is something else. I generally don’t react well to unwarranted demands.
    In some ways this seems to be a variation of a Hollywood phenomenon – the aging actor or, more frequently, actress, engaging in increasingly outre’ behavior in order to stay in the public eye. Also seen in toddlers for whom any attention – even bad attention – is preferable to being ignored.
    Anyway, to me, it seems that some people who become “trans,” are trying to become something they think just has to get people’s approval. If you start off as a lousy human being, no amount of transitions or other body modifications are going to get you that, in the end. Mostly I feel sorry for them … until approval is demanded, and then, see above.

    1. I passed the “feel sorry for them” several years ago, when I figured out where the leftists were taking this country. I am quite comfortable in the “they f’n disgust me and better stay our of my face” outlook.

  3. “She’s” in a red dress with ridiculous lipstick… FIFY.

    That person is a male. You know, XY chromosomes.

    If you want to change sexes, you need to figure out how to change your chromosomes.

    If someone wants to live like the opposite gender, good luck, enjoy, try to be happy. I’m not buying into that charade.

Only one rule: Don't be a dick.

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