I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t exactly what I expected — lying here in the hospital. I mean, it’s only a few broken bones, a punctured lung, and some stitches to the head, but I almost feel betrayed. Three weeks ago when I took the five-hour online course to become an unarmed rapid response social worker, I thought I was helping mankind. After all, with the police abolished, somebody had to be there to mitigate when people had inevitable disagreements.

I’m The Rapid Response Social Worker Who Replaced The Police

This is a hilarious and possibly prophetic article of what could happen if the Police Defunding/elimination were to happen.  Go rad the whole thing.

Another option I have seen bounced around is the elimination of qualified immunity and substitute it by some sort of insurance. I think this is even funnier and the unintended consequences would be just poetic. First, cops would not be able t pay the full premiums that insurance companies will ask. That means the force and the local government will have to step in and help out, just like it was Health Insurance. Group Legal and Liability Insurance for Local PD department will be established and premiums will go up an down for certain individuals depending on risk  just like in health insurance. A desk Sargent that never come out the precinct will have a low premium.  Billy Bob Doing Traffic control and Highway DUI patrols will pay like he was smoking 4 packs a day while taking X-rays unprotected.

And then, the first year will come around, the White Shirts will sit down with the insurance people and probably a conversation like this will occur.

“Thank you for seeing us, Chief. We need to address some issues with your coverage.”
“What issues?”
“Well, we checked the stats and we need to see how we drop some of the risks or unfortunately we will have to drop your coverage or raise the premiums at least 80%.”
“My God! We cannot afford that! Taxpayers are already pissed off that the county raised taxes to pay for the insurance.”
“I can certainly understand your problem. (pulls out a map of the city) So we had our people examine the data provided by your department and we found out that most of the complains and lawsuit originate in these two areas of town shaded in red. They are responsible for 71% of all the lawsuits and payments we had to issue.”
“Yes, these are troublesome spots. What do you propose?”
“Simply to stop sending officers there. No more patrols means no more contact between officers and probable plaintiffs there fore no lawsuits and no more payments to be made.”
“Are you crazy? The press would crucify us!”
“The press ain’t paying your policy. Taxpayers are.”
“And you understand the Mayor will raise hell. A lot of his voters live there.”
“That is politics which we are not interested in discuss. nor it is our purview.”
“Hmmm. It can be sold if the proper focus is given. These areas have made clear that they do not want cops. We can grant them their wish and we can continue to have coverage.”
“Again chief, that is politics and we don’t get involved on that stuff. we just shown you what we found and how much is going to cost you or not depending on how your department will adjust.”
“I understand. I want to thank you and I am sure we will continue to do business.”

Just saying…