I got this from the same guy in Nigeria who keeps offering me a great deal if I give him my bank account number for a multi-million dollar transfer.

Ladies and Gentlemen! I am happy to announce a new insurance company that will keep you safe for life! That’s right, AntiGunnersurance (A subsidiary of Mutual of Brady-GSGV-VPC et All.) will PROMISE you that if you give up your guns, no gun violence will ever visit you and those of you that you choose to include in your policy. No other organization can promise you what AntiGunnersurance (A subsidiary of Mutual of Brady-GSGV-VPC et All.) promises. Not the NRA, not GOA, not SAF, not anybody.

Here is how it works: You register with us and a representative will visit you at your home or place of business. The representative will collect all your firearms and ammunition, take them to the portable smelter he/she carries in the back of his Chevy Volt and destroy them in front of you. You will then sign a contract assuring us that you and/or your loved ones covered will never own a gun for the duration of the policy. An annual fee of $50 dollars per member will be collected (minimum duration: 10 years) and that is all! You shall be immune from violent gun crime and gun suicide! And you will be able to select a Anti Gun Sponsor that will be your guide and mentor if you suddenly feel the need to operate a firearm. This Sponsor will be responsible for you staying in the insurance program and will be responsible for anything and everything. The Sponsor is a full member of AntiGunnersurance (A subsidiary of Mutual of Brady-GSGV-VPC et All.)

However, if something untold happens with a gun not belonging to you or your loved ones covered in the policy, the following schedule of payments shall apply:

BASIC COVERAGE (Silver)
1) Murder/Manslaughter/Accidental Firearms Death: If you or one of yours happens to pass away due to somebody else evil use of a gun, you or your surviving closest relative will be allowed exact the same kind of mishap to your Sponsor without fear of legal retribution.

2) Wounding, Dismemberment, Rape and other injuries and related health issues by the misuse of a gun: If you or one of yours happens to be gravely wounded by the misuse of a firearm, your Sponsor will have to go through the same experiences, pains, loss of organs or members and procedures as the victim. Our Sponsors are fully covered under Medicare 2 for items such as colostomy bags, catheters and wheelchairs.

3) Violent Crimes non-deadly or wounding (Robbery, Grand Theft, Carjacking, Home Invasion, etc) If you were to suffer through one or more of those armed violent crimes, your Sponsor will not only suffer an equivalent mental distress but also must replace the items lost or its equivalent in cash without depreciation and adjusted for inflation or substitute with newer model.

This constitutes our basic package. We offer two more packages (Gold and Platinum) for additional fees and after you have been with us for a period not shorter than three months. Your Sponsor will be glad to inform you of the details.

AntiGunnersurance (A subsidiary of Mutual of Brady-GSGV-VPC et All.)
Our Bodies Will Cash The Checks Our Mouths Write!

Phone: (202) 898-0792
Fax:     (202) 371-9615

I don’t know…seems legit, right?