… what kind of fresh round of pepperjack bullshit is this? Because sure as hell it is not a baptism according Catholic tradition.
If you cannot perform the baptism because restrictions, then frigging wait or get a priest that will hold the ceremony like it is supposed to. In the Catholic faith, Baptisms are too important to be screwing around with. They “wash away” the Original Sin and makes the baby a member of the faith. You are literally anointed with oil and given a small pinch of salt as part of the ceremony to represent Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
It also gives the baby the godparents, the ones that are supposed to step up and care for the needs of the child in case something happen to the parents, they will act as guides and spiritual counselors.
This is a fucking mockery.
I agree.
On a side note, I remember Father Bob from our parish picnics quite fondly, as he ran around with us kids shooting water guns at each other. When one of the old ladies (including my own grandmother, who hated seeing ANYONE have fun) would complain about being hit with a blast of water, Father Bob would inform them that he had blessed the water in the guns, and it was now holy water. Never saw them change their tune so fast as they quietly gave the sign of the cross and went back to their conversations. They clearly weren’t happy about it, but none of them would argue with a priest about getting sprayed, I mean “blessed” with holy water!
Fun side stories aside, you are correct that Baptism is simply too serious of a thing to make a mockery of in this way.
For Pete’s sake, if I can fingerprint someone (where I actually have to stand next to them, and actually grab their hand) you can baptize a baby!
It was probably just posed as a joke – I don’t know of any priest who would seriously not perform a proper baptism, so l think this was done to MOCK those insane restrictions.