Semi-retired like Vito Corleone before the heart attack. Consiglieri to J.Kb and AWA. I lived in a Gun Control Paradise: It sucked and got people killed. I do believe that Freedom scares the political elites.

I am stupid so you shouldn’t have rights… if you believe me.

In an article in the Hufftington Post, ‘I am‘ Sam Isaac Edwards goes into deep soul searching cum confession explaining that because we was stupid that during a night of libido bullshit showing off to a girlfriend, after chugging half a bottle of tequila and fingerfucking with a .45 caliber gun he ended up with a negligent (Yes I am Sam, mixing booze, guns with macho posture and ending up with a non-programmed shot is NEGLIGENCE) discharge that killed his refrigerator. Because of his self-confessed stupidity, I Am Sam begs legislators to think again before allowing less enlightened humans carry a concealed weapon wherever alcohol is served.

This Flagellant article reeks fabrication. After a half a bottle of Tequila, normal human beings are pretty much in between deep sleep or serious alcohol coma. Yet I Am Sam is still in good shape but barely tipsy enough to forget his finger placement…Ooopsie! And if you were really “in control” after the fore mentioned half a bottle of tequila, then your problem is not guns but serious alcoholism. Put the gun down and go to the nearest AA meeting.

And you know, if you would have stopped there, I might have shut up and just make a comment about how your lack of brains is not enough to suspend the rights of the rest of your fellow citizens. But you had to add:

I opened the door and something deep red ran out onto the tile in quick rivulets. Jeez, I thought, I musta hit an artery. I had. Ocean Spray Cranberry, the Aorta sized bottle.

A tad over the top with the overreaching visual. You went from souffle to scrambled eggs with extra two stirs and the piece of deep literary and psychological insight became just another cheap political ploy. And publishing it in the HuffPoo didn’t help either. So I am calling it Bravo Sierra and you go to Jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. And for the next time, less is more.

Hat Tip and Muchas Gracias to Say Uncle

More On Babes, Bobbies and Pink Guns.

Terri Strayer shoots a good one across the bow with CandyApple Red, Pink, Purple. It is obvious she feels strongly and rightly about the issue, but we agree on the “the damn thing must work & screw the color”  point. And let’s face it folks, the Battle of the Sexes is the longest running one in the history of humanity without any end in sight. Sex sells, sexism doesn’t or disrespect. Pink guns sell even if you don’t like the color. I draw the line with a polka dot Mossberg 500.

By the way Ms. Pepin, you can put the rifle down now. The red dot on top of my bald spot is getting kind of old. 😉

Climate Change, David Copperfield style.

You gotta give it to the AlGorians, no matter how much Mother Nature proves them wrong, they love to come up with an excuse to explain why weather events happen just the opposite they predict.

In today’s New York Times we have the article “Climate-Change Debate Is Heating Up in Deep Freeze” and the best quote is the following:

Most climate scientists respond that the ferocious storms are consistent with forecasts that a heating planet will produce more frequent and more intense weather events.

OK, now if you care to explain to me how can I produce a pound of ice from the inside of a hot oven, I’ll buy into this Global Warming bullcrap. Otherwise just shut the hell up and wait till summer to bring the issue again.

The Vest, The Hawaiian Shirt and The Fanny Pack

Tell me if you heard this one from other CCWers: ““I’d never wear a vest. It screams ‘Shoot Me’ at the top of the building.” Or this one: “Fanny Packs? Only people carrying a gun use fanny packs in this day and age.” Or even this one (my favorite): “I can tell who is carrying by the way they (dress-move-walk).” Welcome to the wonderful debate on concealment garments.

To the uninitiated, carrying a concealed weapon requires a deep change in a person’s way of life. A sidearm is not an “accessory” but a life saving device that should be carried every day and not just whenever you feel like or “think” you might be in danger. You cannot predict when you will be a victim of a crime because if you could, Why would you go there? You avoid it altogether and that’s it. So, as stated initially you have to have the gun with you in order to have an effective means of self-defense and that will force you to change your life style and that includes what & how you carry plus how you cover it.

And I have news for the anti-vest crowd: Civilian Non-shooters do not know you are packing just because you have a 5.11 Vest. Some in the know may suspect you are carrying, but unless you display the weapon, they only suspect, not know for sure. How do I know this? Guess who is been carrying a gun covered by a vest for a decade in a very hot, very humid city? Yep, you’ll see me strolling the streets of Miami with the ubiquitous khaki vest with the temperatures in the high 90s and the humidity up there to cook broccoli. Have I been “found out”? Twice that I know of and both times were by fellow Concealed Carriers that were dressed “suspiciously” enough that I noticed. We made eye contact, looked at our waist areas and smiled at each other as if saying “Yep, me too! Nice seeing you Brother!

I was not going to mention it because I have not seen a civilian yet making that mistake, but make sure your cover garment is loose enough not to print by just breathing. Civilians tend to overdo in size and length but I have seen undercover cops not quite paying attention to what they wear. I remember one time an undercover police officer wearing a light blue sweater during a summer night in Ft. Lauderdale (blending, you are doing it wrong) and the sweater was so tight that not only you could tell he was packing a 1911 in an outside the belt holster, but you could almost read the serial number in the gun.

Am I ever asked about wearing a vest? Yes. 95% of the people who ask will inquire if I am going fishing or am I a professional fisherman. The rest will ask if I am a photographer but most people and I mean 99 out of  100 don’t even care what I am wearing. I have the advantage of wearing some sort of vest for the last 30 years as part of my regular wardrobe so it is second nature for me. And this is the key: Second Nature, be comfortable with what you wear and carry.

The first important item about carrying a gun is to have a good belt and a good holster. A belt that can handle the weight and a holster that is comfortable will do wonders for your carrying pleasure. Flabby belts that let the gun flap around and a cheap holster that loses shape and cannot retain the gun properly are a constant reminder that you are carrying. The more you are aware that you are packing, the more you will messing with the gun in public places and you will out yourself.  Using the same principle, the fanny pack you bought at Walgreens on sale for $5 that is so thin and feeble it looks like you are wearing a cheap candy wrapper will have you adjusting it every 5 minutes or less.

And yes, it is important point is to somewhat blend with your surroundings. An orange and yellow Hawaiian shirt covering you gun in a funeral or awards ceremony might attract unwanted attention and then somebody might notice you are carrying (or may make them blind and won’t see a thing). Please choose a hawaiian shirt with muted tones for such events. If you want to wear a vest but are afraid that it may scream GUN! you may want to use a bit of camouflage in the form of non-gun related patches or pins. It helps that you actually know about those non-gun related themes so, if you don’t fish but know cars don’t use anything fishing but use some racing stuff. People will focus on the patches and pins and will not even think about what is under your vest.

In the end, the most important thing is the way you carry yourself. If you act like you are not carrying a gun (again, get good comfortable equipment) your body language will show that and people will “know” that you are not carrying. And that’s the name of the game.

White House Chutzpah: You critcs are helping Al-Qaeda.

OK, seriously. Are the only testicles available in the White House in Michelle Obama’s purse? According to the Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism (read Czar for Diaper Bombers and other Man Made Disasters) John Brennan, Politically motivated criticism and unfounded fear-mongering only serve the goals of al-Qaeda.”
as it appeared in an op-ed in US Today

Are you out of your effing mind??? Seriously dude.  What kind of repugnant pond scum are you? Did you take medications before spouting such a load of crap or do you have to be lobotomized and castrated to write such garbage? Or maybe simply you are just an asshole?

I could go on a long winded rant, but the best answer was provided in the response section of the ABC blog by a reader.

2008: Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism.

2009: Dissent is the highest form of Racism.

2010: Dissent is the highest form of Terrorism.

The Starbucks Wars.

(Cue Imperial March theme from Star Wars)

Official Statement by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence but Failing Miserably ‘Cause We Don’t Get It.

In a city far far Left, a voice of reason rises above the uncouth rednecks with guns. Our Hero Mark Morford, rises to fight against the evil forces of the NRA Empire. His stylish writing full of witty repartee strikes deep and wide using every possible prejudiced thought while managing to lie through his teeth and avoid the issue of Human Rights, Self-Defense and just plain common sense (common sense not available in California, void where prohibited by the Brady Bunch). And all because there might be some of them rednecks at his local Starbuck and he does not want to be nervous while sipping his overpriced caffeine beverage.

Welcome to the Starbuck Wars. Apparently the whole thing got legs out of an ABC report about Open Carry proponents meeting peacefully at different Starbucks in the Bay Area of SanFran. It seems that some have been horrendously scared that people would actually have the balls and the rest of the equipment to defend themselves and have thrown a super hissy fit about it. Of course now enters the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence (A.K.A. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence by providing criminals with defenseless victims and A.K.A. The Brady Bunch) with the words of the local coordinator Karen Arntzen:

“This myth, that these people are somehow super heroes that are out there ready to take a bullet for you, they’re just as likely to put a bullet in you,”

This is what passes for information in the Bay Area? You know, there is a point in the mental process where if you actually start believing in the propaganda you spew, it is an indicator of major mental problems. Mind you that people go to Starbucks in other states every hour of every day legally carrying a weapon, may it be concealed or open and there have not been one single incident. Nobody has gone crazy and started a shoot out. Nobody has engaged in an argument that ended up in a shooting over latte and sconces. Nothing.

The Brady Bunch is suffering from Acute Irrelevance Syndrome. They have become a joke even within the ultra liberal fringes of the Left.  Long ago they could get away with their falsehoods knowing that the public did not have the resources or access to the truth. They would fudge crime data or outright lie with the complicity of the Traditional Media and come out smelling like Saviors. But even that started to go sour. When Florida adopted Shall Issue Concealed Weapons Permits, the Brady Bunch warned of the impending doom of more crimes, more murders and the end of civilization as we knew it but something funny happened: Crime and Murders went down and more people started to carry guns in the State of Florida. Other states followed with their own versions and the Brady Bunch came out in each and every instance prophesying Rivers of Blood in the Streets and it didn’t happen again. They became a joke in the internet among the Gun Culture. Whenever we heard that a State was about to pass a Shall Issue CWP, we created our own Brady Bunch releases with the tired old topics we heard before and they almost matched word by word the real thing.

Then the Brady Bunch got creative. Florida still the most hated State because we started the avalanche so they went for the shock value factor with stuff like this:

This banner is supposed to be (or was) somewhere in North Florida on or around I-95. It was meant to scare tourists into turning around and heading for “safer pastures.” I mean, who in his/her right mind would like to be around a bunch of armed Crackers, Haitians and Spics? Right? Well, it didn’t work as well as planned. The pic got a lot of movement in the forums and we were rightly proud of the fact that the Brady Bunch spent that much money in warning criminals about what we can do to them down here if they decide to ply their violent trade.

After the billboard backfired, the Brady Bunch tried to do something similar in airports by passing fliers like this at Miami International and Fort Lauderdale Airport.

And boy they got lots of media coverage…for about two news’ cycles. One of the representives of the Brady Bunch (probably imported from D.C.) at Miami International Airport was allowed to go on camera saying that tourists should not use violent movements of the hands because they might be interpreted as a violent act and get them shot. Now saying this in a South Florida County with a 60% population of Latinos who use their hands while talking in such fashion that we make Italians look like paraplegics, did not sit well with the local populace and the Brady Bunch were shut down faster than a New Marine Recruiting Station in Berkeley. We got the chance to laugh, point them out and say “See? they are the racists, not us.”

Of course it did not help that just recently the Violence Policy Center published the unfortunate Black Homicide Victimization in the United States document where basically conludes that black people shouldn’t have guns which is pretty much the same claim that the Ku Klux Klan make. And just to add more crap to their already stinking mudbath, the Brady Bunch are celebrating Mark Morford’s “opinion” piece, so full of profiling, prejudice and hate, Klukers are offering him a free membership and a free White Sheet Suit included. Moderate Klukers are protesting saying he might be a tad too prejudiced and it might stain the good name of the Klan.

Thank you Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. You are now providing us with a good laugh.

PS: Can we get one of them billboards down here in Miami. Superbowl is here and we need to remind the carpetbagging criminals that things may not be as easy as they think. Thanks!

UPDATE: Via Snowflakes In Hell (H/T) I find out that Starbucks told the Brady Bunch to go drink a crappola frapuccino somewhere else. “Starbucks does not have a corporate policy regarding customers and weapons; we defer to federal, state and local laws and regulations regarding this issue,” Starbucks’ customer relations department said in response to the Brady Campaign’s request.”
Irrelevancy rears its ugly face to the Brady Bunch once again. One more event like this and they can apply for federal funds as a disaster zone.

Monster Hunter Vendetta…. Larry Strikes again!

Here it is folks! Monster Hunter Vendetta. OK, it is not here here, but you can actually pre-order via Amazon.com. The continuing Saga of Owen Zastava Pitt and the crew of Monster Hunter International with Owen being hunted by the The Dread Overlord (the unspeakable name) and has to be placed under protective custody by the Feds and his babysitter is no other than his nemesis Special Agent Franks. And that is about what I can guess from the Amazon preview and and the snippets that Larry’s been leaving in Facebook.
Go ahead and pre-order the book. You know it is going to be a good one. And if you haven’t read Monster Hunter International, read the first seven chapters for free and then mosey over Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble to get your own hard copy.