I saw this headline from The Express:

LONDON BLOODBATH: The terrifying knives flooding streets fuelling stabbing rampage

Oh dear God, what is this.  I had to see.

BRITAIN is in the grip of a knife crime epidemic with barely a day going by without another victim adding to grim statistics with at least 37 people fatally stabbed in London this year and police last night seizing a deadly “zombie knife”.

What?

The knives get their name from the weapons often seen in horror films, particularly “zombie apocalypse” movies and there are fears the distinctive look of the blades is leading them to be used as a status symbol by gang members.

Selling zombie knives and possessing them in public is against the law but police are powerless to confiscate or arrest suspects who keep the large blades with serrated edges at home.

You’re kidding me, right?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

But it’s not the only one.

The deadly foot-long knife, which bears the name Renegade, peaks into a thick sharpened tip.

A metal looped finger holder on the handle allows greater grip for whoever wields the giant knife, which has now been taken off London’s streets.

This next part is my favorite.

Anti-knife campaigner Patrick Green, from the Ben Kinsella Trust, said the knife could only be used to kill or seriously injure.

Jesus.  I just cannot take these people seriously.

This is exactly the same thing as the bump stock argument in the US.  Exactly.

These knives are not knives.  Yes, technically they are, and they are sharpened pieces of metal and they can hurt someone, I’m not debating that.

But these are most definitely “novelty knives.”

They are low cost garbage, blanked and ground in China or Pakistan or some other developing nation sweatshop.  The steel is garbage, the heat treat is garbage, they are garbage.

I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s seeing the advertisements for these types of novelty knives in the backs of gun magazines.

The most famous of which were made by United Cutlery and designed by Gil Hibben.  If you wanted a knife for your 90’s action movie, Hibben was your man.

But you serious person was going to use this as a tool.

Yeah, I thought that was cool… in 1995 when I was 12 and the Moral Kombat movie came out and I spent what money I had playing the Mortal Kombat video game in the lobby of the movie theater at The Falls Mall.

Now, I know better.

I get that people are being stabbed in the streets of London.

But when the problem is cheap garbage novelty knives used by stupid gang members, saying things like “the knife could only be used to kill or seriously injure” just makes you sound dumb to any serious knife person.

These are intended to be wall hangers for idiots who thing that shadow boxed pictured of Tony Soprano are fine art.

It’s the same thing with bump stocks.  Bump stocks are garbage for turning ammo into noise.  I’ve never met a serious person who had one.  They are the ultimate in mall ninja chic.

When some politician talks about bump stocks like they are the most dangerous thing ever, it makes me laugh.

“I must be very sober and serious about the need to ban this overpriced novelty device for idiots used by dumb asses on YouTube.”

Ha!

Well this is the same shit in knife speak in the UK.

“I must be very sober and serious about the need to ban some piece of decorative garbage that was never indented to do more than sit on a display holder on some dude-bro’s mantle.”

I just can’t muster the same concern these people have when I know the focus of their outrage is worthless garbage.