One is Mike Meyers and the other is Elena Kagan who’s supposedly considered for the Supreme Court by President Obama. SNL writers must be licking their collective chops.

I lived a bit over three years in Nashville. More than living, it was home because of the people who were kind to a darn foreigner who barely spoke enough English to order a burger and ask for the restroom. It was in Nashville where I learned a new language, discovered that Halloween was my favorite bought my first gun (A Beretta .25 tilt-up barrel at the now defunct The Arms Room),  got drunk on white lightning, met Waylon, Jessie, Willy and half Kansas (the band, not the state), savored the best pancakes in the world at The Pancake Pantry and met the woman that has been my wife for almost a quarter of a century.

Nashville taught me to be independent, ornery, and to take things with humor. I still remember a hellish ice storm that kept us indoor for 4 days… or should have. There were some dear rednecks that did go out driving in the streets cum ice rinks with the predictable results and all caught on video. Nothing like seeing an old battered pick up truck going downhill totally out of control and you could hear the driver screaming the rebel yell a top of his lungs till he crashed into another vehicle that already crashed into another. The driver got out and said “Well now that was fun!” and the driver of the target car, standing on the sidewalk agreed with him!

So, even though my dear old city is today recovering from what is called a Thousand Year Flood, I could not help and smile when I saw this picture:

I see they are still headstrong an laughing up there.

PS: I am so craving for Silver Dollar pancakes right now.

You’d probably seen on the news about the crap storm that happened in a Gilroy (People’s Republica De California) when the principal of Four Live Oak High School sent four students home for wearing T-Shirts depicting the American flag during the celebration of the Cinco de Mayo, a made up Mexican Holiday.

It is disgusting enough that wearing the US colors inside the United States could be construed as “incendiary”  but when I read the following quote:

“It’s disrespectful to do it on Cinco de Mayo,” said Jessica Cortez, a Live Oak sophomore. “They can be a patriot on some other day. Not that specific day.”

What in the name of the hookers of Tijuana (Mexico’s third biggest source of income after drugs and money sent from the USA by “undocumented” workers) are you talking about dear Cholita?  Do you have the ovarios to dictate when can somebody be patriotic? And if you are so Mexican Patriota, How come you have a Gringo name and live in Gringolandia and partake of the fruits that the Gringos stole from your Aztec People (The official parasites that sucked the life out of the Mayans) I just hate hypocrites.

Oye Yesi, you wanna impress me? Get your American Blue Jeans’ ass down to Ciudad de Mejico and demand the following:

• Have official forms and paperwork in both English and Spanish.
• Demand that informational signage should be in both English and Spanish.
• Protest the drastic inmigration laws of Mejico and demand free passage between Mejico and Honduras.
• Demand that the Fourth of July be celebrated or at least respected and that schools should raise the Stars & Bars and erase all traces of the Mexican flag during that day.
• Tell us where to send the donations for your funeral, ’cause you will probably be beaten to death .

Si seras pendeja muchacha.

Quick note: Cinco de Mayo is allegedly commemorated for the Battle of Puebla. Only the people from Puebla sort of celebrates it and only because you may get a free day off work. This battle was in between the Mexican Army and the French and the French lost…as usual. It is embarrassing that anybody would celebrate beating a country that has a genetic disposition to wave a whit flag. Somebody said that the Battle of Pueblas is like the end of Rocky 2: Mexico was declared the winner because they got up first to run away and the referee called a K.O. for the hell of it.

Security exercise at Ft Knox targets the Tea Party. “Them peoples are dangerous!”

Ft. Knox requested that the memo containing the instructions of the exercise be removed from Mark Alexander’s blog and he politely complied. But the problem with the internet is that many people will make copies and keep them.  Something about Free Speech and the need to be informed, that pesky First Amendment! Somebody kept a copy and then somebody else made a copy and so on and so forth till I landed one.

The ultimate recycling for Earth Day.

Do you know how much has been spent on Global Warming bullshit? Money that could have been used in real green projects like reforestation in Third World countries. Or creating industries in those same countries where they are so dirt poor, anything alive will either be killed for food or burn as fuel? Water sources are polluted to hell and back because there are no waste treatment plants or even sewers?

The real danger to our planet is Poverty, Green Stupidity, and Self Righteous assholes that think they know better than you.  In the meantime, go out, buy a tree and plant it in your front or backyard. Convince a neighbor to do the same. Get another tree and give it to the elderly neighbors across the street (and plant it for them) they will appreciate it and probably care for it a lot better than anybody else. No space for a tree ’cause you live in an apartment? Get some sort of hanging plant and nurture it. It doesn’t take much and you are actually generating oxygen and scrubbing CO2 much more efficiently than any carbon footprint elimination scam out there…. and then go buy a tree and plant it in a open space that needs it.

And the next time a Hippie comes to you and bitches about Gaia dying because we ain’t doing enough, offer to use insulating foam in his respiratory passages to cut down on carbon dioxide emissions and noise pollution. Do that till we get the Soylent Green trucks up and running…..

Amazing picture. It will be hated by a lot of empty souled people and its author ignored in the best of cases.

Amazingly at work they offered CPR/Heimlich and AED (automated external defibrillator) training not only for free but you got paid overtime for it. Upon completion, you will get not only a nice card saying you are now a standing member of those who may be able to save a life, but also a card valid for 2 years displaying such info. A life-saving set of techniques taught under the best of incentives and several individuals rejected the idea. Some even verbally degraded it with various colorful idioms.

Some of the dissidents were old farts, set in their ways and so soured with life they plainly didn’t give a squat. I am guessing that the fact that they had to come to work at odd hours interrupting their mac & cheese and that day’s episode of Oprah was too much to sacrifice. A couple of youngins assumed their gansta stances and replied with the standard “Hey man. That just bullshit. I don’t need that shit.” Other not so young excused themselves by using a myriad of reasons, but I  could read out of their bodies and verbal patterns was that they were too embarrassed to be embarrassed in front of others.

I asked one of the youngins what would he do if his Mom ( a woman with a history of vascular problems) would suddenly need CPR. His answer was “I’ll call Call 911.” When asked what would it happen if 911 or rescue wasn’t immediately available, his response was “Why it wouldn’t be?”

It saddens the hell out of me that people are willing to be mentally castrated this way. In order to save face, they rather depend on the kindness of the Government to help them get out of trouble. Then when their dreams dead stop as they hit the shoals of reality, they moan and complain and demand more government control. It is sort of trying to treat a rattlesnake bite by injecting more poison into your veins. It must hurt to think logically while pride is in the way.