In Praise of the Gun Owner’s Small Penis

Yes, I used a click bait title, so sue me.

One of the recurring attacks/criticisms/insults levied against gun owners, especially concealed carrier permit holders, is that we (including the women) have small penises. In an attempt to feel better about ourselves, we carry a gun as a de facto prosthetic phallus, and if we were more secure in our manhood (including the women) we would not feel the need to carry a gun. This regular insult usually comes with a side order of other belittlement – that guns owners are fearful, cowardly, etc., which then comes back to us being phallicly insecure.

Well… rather than dispute the anti-gunners, I’m going to embrace my small penis (metaphorically speaking).

Classical art (Ancient Greece and Rome) found the the small penis to be an aesthetically pleasing. This was revitalized in Renaissance art, a prime example being Michelangelo’s David.

Original Olympic wrestling. Detail from a vase.

A large penis was considered grotesque and comical, a sign of barbarianism and being uncivilized. The Greek god Priapus is portrayed as having a large phallus. Priapus was thrown off of Mount Olympus by the other gods for his ugliness and foul-mindedness, and is often associated with rudeness and braying donkeys.

Now what does this have to gun ownership? One word: civilization.

Part of the Aristotelian idea of civilization was art (aesthetics), another was virtue. Classical philosophy was big on virtue. There are four classical Cardinal Virtues: Wisdom, Justice, Temperance, and Courage/Fortitude. This spawned the Roman ideals of virtue, which expanded on the Cardinal Virtues to include Virtus (manliness) and Pietas (duty to others), among others. Ancient cultures recognized that civilization could not exist without duty, justice, strength, and manliness.

Back 2007, MunchkinWranglerĀ wrote a piece titled “The Gun is Civilization.” I invite you to read it. (Proper attribution here)

He makes a good point, but I feel compelled to add something that he implied but needs to be said overtly. A gun is civilization when in the hands of civilized people. Only a person with the virtues of restraint, justice, courage, and strength of character can wield a gun for good. We see far to much violence from people without virtue who wield a gun with malice.

Recently online, I have come across to articles from polar opposite sources, Slate and The Federalist, on the murder of Kevin Joseph Sutherland on a DC Subway in front of a group of bystanders who did nothing.

Call them beta males, call them sheeple, but what we saw was the result of a lack of virtue. Not one person had the courage or fortitude to due his duty to help his fellow man and a murder occurred. Barbarism won over civilization that day.

The laws of DC may have physically disarmed them but the culture emotionally disarmed them. Only cowards carry guns. Only the insecure feel the need to be armed. That’s what the CSGV tells us. But the unarmed, and presumably well endowed, men (and women) on those trains didn’t “man up” to helping one of their fellows. They bravely hid in the corner and averted their gaze.

On the other side of the country (metaphorically speaking), in the ignorant, uncultured, no-man’s land of Alabama, when a CCW permit holder sees the life of a store clerk being threatened by a criminal, he acts to save an innocent life.

And there you have it. Real cowardice vs. GSCV cowardice. Watch a man die vs. jump in and help.

If having a small penis (metaphorically speaking) is the price I pay for civilization, all accept that. Because the alternative is to be a braying jackass.

“I reject your reality and substitute my own.”

CSGV had a link to a blog/webiste/whatever where Dr. Art Kamm riles against the NC bill that allows guns in places where alcohol is sold. As I read the article, I could visualize a fella in white medical coat, nametag, stethoscope around his neck (and don’t ask me why, a crappy mustache and wire-rimmed glasses) using a fatherly yet stern voice while warning us about the “disaster” that mixing guns and alcohol would be.

He closes his article with the following jewel:

And for those who might say as this has not occurred it is not a problem, go to my first article (link here) where it is explained that it is not history, but rather potential, that is central to enacting commonsense safety regulation.

Wait..WHAT? I could not myself and engaged the good doctor (specializing in Dermatology) and pointed out that Florida possesses a 23 year history of guns in restaurants without wild shootouts but he basically chose to ignore the facts because they interfere with his proposition and “belief.” The final nail in his self-interment was to quote the infamous Kellerman 43 times study which pretty much is an indicator the person bringing it out is a political hack and a statistical moron.

I did wave him goodbye with this final post:

One last thing Doctor: Should you be arrested and jailed for rape even though you never committed such crime? According to your final statement you have both the potential and the equipment. Past history of your behavior, morals and honesty should not be considered, right?

I wonder if he will go the Japete route with that comment…

Big PS: Do enjoy Sean Sorrentino’s comments, he took the good Idiot to task.

Light Blogging for a While.

I am not a good or even prolific writer. But I am supposed to be doing some writing for monies (not very much) and I am delayed as hell. Four articles in the works and none finished!

CSGV has been sucking up my few writing neurons so I have to re-target them to other things. Unless they piss me off way off the scales or the Zombie Apocalypse finally happens, I’ll be a bit scarce in the blog.

Other than that…carry on!

PS: This weekend is Memorial Day weekend and while most of the nation honors those who fell in defense of our country, down here we celebrate gansta “culture” while invading Miami beach with Crips & Bloods wannabes.

If you are coming down for the Weekend, stay the hell away from Miami Beach. Safer that way.

Two MDPD Officers die while serving a warrant. Reporter want to know about weapons used.

Two Miami Dade Police Officers, one male and the other female died today while serving a warrant. Details are few at this time but the eventual media frenzy is at high pitch. At this time we only know that Officer Roger Castillo is dead and the female Officer’s name has not been released.

Earlier I saw a quick press conference with Miami Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez (MAIG) and I can swear I heard a reporter asking about the weapons used. Mayor Alavarez did not have information or was respectful enough to keep his mouth shut. If I was not a very suspicious person, I would leave it as curiosity but I have the feeling he was fishing for either the words “High Capacity Magazine” or “Assault Weapon.”


UPDATE: The officers who gave their lives were Roger Castillo and Amanda Haworth. Say a prayer for them.

UPDATE 2: Watching a Press Conference now (4:15pm) According to MDPD Director John Loftus, the weapon used was a handgun. He refused to provide any details. Journalistic sails deflated. Loftus is obviously mad as hell and looks like he is 3 seconds away from beginning a general bichtslapping against journos. In his defense, every kind of stupid question has been asked and repeated over and over.

Why do we keep cheating women out of life?

I am all for empowering women. From the point of view of the pure male chauvinistic pig, I think strong women are sexy as hell (24 years with my lovely wife should be an indicator) and from the point of view of sheer laziness, I like the idea of not having to drag a woman alongside the supplies, weapons, ammo and hear her complain she forgot her make up case. I just hate whiny I-am-a-victim-pity-me women.

So, I am all for women to learn to defend themselves and to take any and all classes on any self defense thing out there; the more & better tools, the more independent she will be. So, Why in God’s good graces will anybody come up with certified bullshit like this?

Gardner says your cell phone is the best weapon because you can hit someone in a sensitive area such as their neck or throat. You can even take a photograph of that person who is being violent to you.

Debbie Gardner is the Survive Institute’s co-founder…or some crap like that. Allegedly she was a cop and I assume that she was issued some sort of communications device in lieu of sidearm as she patrolled the streets and used it successfully against bad guys in order for her to say that a cell phone is the best weapon.

This is irresponsible training. You cannot text to death anybody when your life is at stake. Maybe back at the beginning of the cell phone era when we had huge suckers like the old Motorola Brick, but you really think a petite woman with an IPhone is going to defeat a 250lbs attacker bent on evil? There is no app for that.

Yes, teach as much as you can on any and all the options. But do not dare to guarantee that the best weapon in your purse is a flimsy cell phone when you know damn well that keeping distance from an attacker is anybody’s best chance and a firearm provides the opportunity to do that with the added benefits serve as a not-so gentle reminder to the attacker that actions will have serious consequences and delivering such consequences if the attacker pays no heed to the obvious warning.

Spare me of the Politically Correct Bullshit Training.

The Missus and .357 - I am a good hubby or else.

PS: I am not even going deep to comment on the “take a photograph of that person who is being violent to you.” That sounds like “We would appreciate that you should have some sort of evidence with you when we find your corpse.”

Mission dictates the training & screw the cool factor.

I am sure I am not the only one that checks certain magazines or watch TV shows that have great trainers teaching some cool stuff & tactics. But really, what does Mr. & Ms. Average get out of knowing how to shoot the Uber Tactical AR from underneath a moving vehicle while crawling through a minefield in the middle of monsoon season? While the drill may be very necessary for those in the front lines or Law Enforcement, Regular Joes and Janes will wasting their time, monies and ammo on that training.

We need instructors that understand we are not fit super heroes but middle aged cubicle dwellers that will have a great chance to face Kanish Bubba Perez, known tweaker and overall armed robber than Sheik Said Altowellette. Example: I have seen both on TV and printed that Isosceles stance is the best because not only is a stable platform for handgun shooting but also it faces the body armor towards the enemy thus giving protection against incoming rounds….Excuse me?? What frigging body armor? The closest I get to body armor is the excess weight I carry around my mid-section and I don’t think it really will stop most rounds.

Yes, I want to learn to defend myself with a rifle, a shotgun and a handgun but let’s get real here. How many of us have an AR costing $4,000 or more after accessories? More likely an AK Klon or Lever Action rifle are gathering dust and cobwebs because they are not “tactically cool” and will be sneered upon at most classes by the Black Nylon Ninjas. Same for shotguns: Ultra Slick Wilson Tactical SBR shotgun with all the gizmos versus a coach gun or plain jane hunting pump shottie. These uncool weapons have their own traits and shortcomings so a training must be developed so they can be used for defensive purposes. And yes, I understand that a slick long gun platform may have special advantages, but the idea here is not to show off the latest and coolest but to help your average citizen deal with a life threatening situation with the tools he or she has.

We get many a contradictory message in this realm: How many times we hear “It is not the arrow but the indian” in the same breath that loudly proclaims no handgun unless is a 45 and costs you one and a half mortgage payment is worth buying? Or in the case of a home invader you are told to retreat to the safe room only to immediately start training on how to clear a house by your lonesome?

I think it is time to shake the digital cammo pattern, Oakley glasses and Converse boots mentality out of the training and go more for plaid bermuda shorts, black sock and sandals. Might not be very cool among the high speed-low drag fraternity, but students that survive a deadly force encounter thanks to a common sense training with the tools they have is the ultimate in coolness.

ND: Bad Holster manipulation? (Graphic Content Warning)

The original thread at the at the S&W Forum does not give any explanation about how the Negligent Discharge came to happen, but I suspect there was some sort of brain fart while holstering by the way the wounds look. Perhaps the booger hook on the bang stick while holstering the gun?

Just a reminder that if we don’t play safe, somebody will get hurt.

That shit hurts just looking at it. šŸ™