I’ve been following several blogs where the theme is Mall Ninja Instructors doing all kinds of stupid stuff up to an including shooting at targets nearby a student downrange. But just to show we don’t have the monopoly on sheer imbecility, this “instructor” (please pronounce with Spanish accent) goes balls to the walls with different platforms against a moron that lets him.

Apparently Miami is a hot spot for illegally providing foreign gangs with weapons and explosives bought at our local gun shops. yep! Kid you not.

According to our local CBS station and the local ATF agents, any Jose Shmoe can acquire ” guns, explosives and other weapons. he weapons and explosives are shipped to gangs, drug cartels and other criminal groups from Central and South America to Europe and the Middle East………..But other guns, explosives, grenades, bomb materials and even parts for I-E-D’s (improvised explosive devices) get through and get shipped overseas.”

Seriously? Pray do tell us which local gun store had a sale of plastic explosives, detonators and assorted IED parts. While I do not deny that gun smuggling happens is South Florida, portraying local gun stores as the equivalent of the Taliban’s Home Depot is somewhat disingenuous… OK, it is unmitigated bullshit. Then again I am not surprised what comes out when the Main Stream Media and the ATF get together.

One user of Musical Theatre News blogspot said: “It seems there was a problem with a gun.”

No, there was no problem with the gun. More than likely the gun did not load itself, aimed at the actor or pulled the trigger.  Some human screwed up inside that chain and an actor may have to play Captain Hook in the future.

This is one of those things which, no matter how much you want to remain impassive you end up breaking in laughter.

Excuse me while I wipe the spittle off my screen.

How is it that in the era of the Information Superhighway, 24 hour news cycle and other assorted informational providers, we have people that have not gotten the idea that buying a car through Craiglist and the prospective buyer/seller requests to meet at a dark & remote location at the weird hours of the day is a huge neon sign in Sensurround screaming DON’T FRIGGING DO IT!

Of course, if you had previous negative experiences and still don’t get it, there is nothing much we can do for you other than ask you where do you want the flowers sent.

According to Mondejar, he and his girlfriend met the seller of the used vehicle in the parking lot, but the seller ended up robbing them. “Everything was good, and then held me and my girlfriend at gunpoint,” said Mondejar. “I’ve been robbed before, but nothing like this.

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Read it some years ago in the interwebs.

During the first days of World War II, a Wehrmacht general was touring Germany’s border with Switzerland with a bunch of butt-kissing Journalists. At a checkpoint, one journalist asked the General if there were plans for dealing with Switzerland in case they decided to break their neutrality. The General scoffed and said that the Swiss were not an issue and that they wouldn’t dare take any action against the mighty Third Reich. “I ask you, what can 500,000 Swiss do against a one million Wehrmacht Soldiers?”

“Shoot twice.” answered a voice on the Swiss side of the checkpoint.

My “Allergies” is what I call any thing or recurring situation where danger can pop-up. Some are obvious as hell like pissing off a bunch of Hell Angels, sticking a knife in an electrical outlet, rattlesnake handling (or any snake) or trying to have a rational argument with a belligerent drunk. I know that nothing good is gonna come out of it and that I will be kicking myself in the ass later.

But if there is one thing in South Florida that will make me cringe in horror faster than Lady Gaga making out with Cher is the sight of an armored truck. I don’t know if it is my particular perception, but for some reason armored trucks seem to be hit at least once a month around here and always violently. We all should know about what is perhaps the most infamous armed confrontation in the late 20th century: The Miami FBI Shootout where the FBI went toe to toe with two dangerous armored truck robbers who were preparing for another heist. At the end, two FBI agents were dead, five wounded and the two critters were also doing their last repose on cold slabs at the coroner’s office. Just yesterday a Brinks truck was robbed not very far from my house leaving one guard dead of a head shot wound. That tells me that the critters are not unwilling to go ugly fast and that they are taking no chances with bulletproof vest.

My “medicine” for this “allergy” is quite simple: Avoid the hell out of the trucks. I will simply will not go inside a store that has an armored truck parked outside either delivering or doing a pick up. If I am already inside the store, I will seek a location as far as possible from the doors, start scanning like crazy and pray the damn thing leaves soon. I will not park near a truck even if it is empty and the guards are having some empanadas and cuban coffeee at the corner cafeteria. And I will even take it to driving and let a truck pass me or I’ll search for an alternative route just in case.

I would hate for my wife collecting my life insurance because I died because of some bags of quarters being delivered to the local Big Box store. And no, I will not ask her opinion on the subject.