A trial ended yesterday. The case involved a shooting on a female by a male resulting in the grievous injury of the female. She sustained damage to her arm both muscular and neural. Her arm will never again be 100% functional and she has, no joke, developed a mongo aversion to guns. The male was a childhood friend of hers and one silly night and because one silly stupid argument, two lives have been changed forever.

The fight was about a truly irrelevant object but it escalated to the point where the male produced his firearm and a shot rang out. Was there intention to kill? I don’t think so and he was not charged with that  but a much lesser count. Still the jury found him guilty and he will probably be sentenced to 8 years in prison. The male had a Concealed Weapons permit and there is no other way to put it: he fucked up. According to what I was told, during trial he initially tried to say that it was an accidental shooting, that the gun went off, but with modern firearms (read: basically anything built in the last 50 years) that is near impossible and he got shredded by the expert witness. His lawyer tried to pull a mid trial switch for Self Defense but a male facing a 5’4″ female armed with a car key and a cellphone does not rise to the necessary standard for self defense. Basically BOTH sides suffered from runaway mouths with almost deadly consequences. The cause of the incident was plain old ego on both sides. She caught the bullet, he caught the prison time.

I tell my students and anybody considering having a gun for self protection that they are about to embark in a life-changing trip. This trip will have “casualties” and the first one must be ego. No longer will you feel the need to right perceived wrongs by verbally or physically counter an insult, wave off or even a direct taunt. You have with you the power of creating immense harm and that is something that you cannot take lightly. I don’t care if they call your Mom names, accuse your wife of being a $10 whore or dirty comments about naked pictures of your favorite aunt in the Internet, your first duty is to disengage and step away from the person trying to incite you. Allow your manhood or womanhood to be dragged in the mud, let them call you coward, faggot, chickeshit, whatever: Words don’t hurt, prison time does.

So remember the this phrase:

Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de–escalation.

A bit of disclosure is in order. The female is a dear friend of mine, almost like an adopted crazy niece. We worked together and I still remember the night I was told she was shot and the Gordian knot that my stomach became. She was out for six months recovering from her wound and with a new dose of maturity. It was radical but instructive for the both of us. Although she is still the same vibrant spirit, the innocence is gone and there will be a dark cloud following her for a long time. I don’t know the guy and I really don’t hold any particular personal grudge against him (I know, I should but I think I matured after all) but as a Gun Owner and CWP holder I will cut him no mercy: He misused a gun, hurt an innocent person and rightly he should serve his punishment. Most Gun Owners agree with me on this. We don’t give freebies to our fellow members that break the faith and eschew responsibility. We are not forgiving just because you  are a fdellow gun owner, say you are sorry sorry and fly to the nearest detox clinic. We come down on you hard and you better get used to it. We hold ourselves to a higher standard.

I will try to get a transcript of the trial and I plan to use it in future classes and in this blog. I think there is much to be learned by everybody.

Again people: Words don’t hurt, prison time does. Dump the Ego.