What the absolute fuck, guys?


You motherfuckers need a Minister of Optics because that shit looks like a cross between Triumph of the Will and V for Vendetta.

Angela Merkel directed by Leni Wachowski and Lana Riefenstahl.

Tone that fucking shit down before I start smuggling your scientists out and trying to cover up their crimes against humanity.

I had an overwhelming desire to burn Dresden to the ground.

Next time your childless, tyrannical Chancellor gives a speech, fucking rainbows and puppies and shit.  Get the designers for the Berlin Pride Parade to decorate.

I saw those pictures and started vigorously rubbing oil into my Garand.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?


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By J. Kb

20 thoughts on “G*d dammit Germany, I said i didn’t want a gritty reboot”
  1. What nazi-fetishizing moron pictured this scene and thought “that’s perfect”? Even worse, what brain-dead drooling idiot looked at the photos and decided it would be a good idea to release them?

  2. Well the German government DOES want to mandate the complete and total literal extermination of every single German citizen that is not vaccinated as well as the rounding up and eventual extermination of every single German citizen that is against that. So why not bring back the same optics? People already know what I think is going to happen in the next 9 years.

    When the gas chambers come back the citizens of Germany will willingly walk into them. And the other countries of the world will not do a damn thing because they want to do the same thing to their population. Including here. Although it may be harder for the United States government to do that because we have guns in the military will eventually run out of the resources they need to keep the killing going on but that’s when the nukes come in.

  3. *Facepalm* Oh for the Love of Life Orchestra!

    Next she’ll wonder why Poland and Chechia are moving troops to their WESTERN borders.

  4. JFC. That’s less subtle than the First Order in The Force Awakens. Torches? Seriously? Eagle standards?


    But, really, the capper is the Darth Vader inspired podium.

    1. Well, they’re also missing an army. And domestic energy production. But they can still make things tougher for their sheep…er…citizens.

  5. Oh my. Don’t miss the fainting couch, guys.

    The “Große Zapfenstreich” has in some forms been part of German military tradition since the 16th century.

    Spoiler alert: The Nazis took a lot of stuff and appropriated it.

    And I’m by no means a fan of Merkel – quite the contrary – but that is a tradition older than the Nazis or even Thanksgiving.

    You just haven’t payed attention the dozens of time this was done before.

    1. I am willing to believe you.

      Can you point us to any other previous pictures of this same ceremony?
      Maybe some with Willi Brandt?

      Although I am a bit surprised the German Left have not diversified it up with rainbow flags and unicorns.

      1. Just google “Großer Zapfenstreich” or use the german wikipedia.

        Hell, even the american troops that left Germany after the reunification got honored with this tradition, or sometimes even foreign commanders before the fall of the wall.

        1. Thanks. There were not many pictures of the “Cone Strikes” other than Chancellor Merkels. the ones I saw did not have the vaderesque podium.

          It seems like as the actual power of the Bundeswehr decreases, the theatrics and elaborateness of your ceremonies increase.

          Sort of like the Swedes cutting their military manpower by 90% and there military budget by 50%.

          1. Well… it’s not that different from the US armed forces, no?

            How’s the USS Harvey Milk coming along? Any new guidelines on how the Marines threat PTSD caused by rabid misgendering?
            And I bet if you use the word “manpower” on base you get a stern lecture about white rage and the oppressive patriarchy.

      2. Oh and Helmut Kohl was the first chancellor to be honored with this – that’s why I can’t show you pictures with Willie Brandt.

        Before that it was mainly for the foreign ministers or the presidents (mostly a ceremonial function, not a political one) and military personal.

        There are around 20-30 of these events per year but only the head honchos get the press.

        I served my, very short, conscription in the “Wachbattaillon”, the German honor guard tasked with such things. Why they drafted a gunsmith into the one troop that does not use real guns? Dunno, dropped out because of that. 😀

  6. 1) It’s Leni Reifenstahl.
    2) Germany didn’t “stumble” into National Socialism.
    They’re simply Nazis, genetically.
    The vid is the QED.
    If it were otherwise, Führer Merkel et al would be running from a mob pursuing them with torches, pitchforks, and scythes, like the Frankenstein’s Monster she is.
    That’s not happening.

    1. Ah yes. you might want to fight fascism in your own country before you go all viva la resistance from your keyboard 😀

      So… you are saying that moral characteristics that make some people inferior or evil are hard coded in the genes?

      You know where I have THAT argument before 😀

      1. The only people who won’t concede that point think Wakanda is real, and gender is fake.

        The bigger problem is people who have torchlight rallies that look like a flashback scene from an Indiana Jones movie, and still can’t see the problem with that.

        Robin Williams’ experience explaining to a cluelessly tone-deaf German TV host that maybe the reason there weren’t more German comedians was that they’d gotten rid of all the funny people comes to mind.

        When no one over there sees a problem with out Nuremburg-rallying Herr Schicklgruber, that’s the punchline, and it writes itself.

Only one rule: Don't be a dick.

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