Today we turn to the city of San Francisco.
Why?
Because when you want to study the degeneration of Liberal man in his natural habitat, you head off to San Francisco like Jane Goodall going to Tanzania.
In San Francisco, foodie hipsters have been hacking open their own hands trying to make guacamole at such a high rate of occurrence, that local ER’s have dubbed the injury “avocado hand.”
She’s not going to be giving any southpaw happy endings for a while.
My first thought when I saw this picture was “that had to hurt.”
My next thought was “who tries to stab something that they are holding in their hand?”
In terms of safety, not stabbing something that I am holding in my hand comes right after not pointing the gun at my foot while I clear and make safe.
Then I realized something.
I have cut myself plenty of times. My hands are a reticulation of scars of cuts and scrapes and scratches of a life using knives and tools. I learned how to carve a steak and bone a chicken without cutting myself by cutting myself slicing a tomato.
Making the mistakes when I was young tackling small tasks taught me what not to do the hard way. Now, as an adult, using a power saw or a handgun, the common sense on what not to do with a dangerous tool was developed by experiencing minor injuries as a child. Seven year old me might have tried to stab an avocado pit, 34 year old me know that’s some stupid shit to do.
I was able to make the minor mistakes when I was young for two reasons. I have been carrying a pocket knife pretty much every day since I was a Cub Scout and got my Whittling Chip, and my parents allowed me to carry a pocket knife. From this, I developed a respect for tools and how to use them properly.
These people who are sticking knifes through their hands are skinny-jeans wearing hipsters. These are coddled adult-children. They have hands that have grown up holding video game controllers and not tools.
This is what happens when society that demonizes inanimate objects. First they try and ban guns. They the put in place very restrictive knife laws. Then whey they ultimately have a culture that assumes every pocket knife is a weapon and good people don’t carry knifes, the first time a hipster wants to show off at a cookout he ends up having to have several fingers re-attached.
I am a mechanic I cut (and burn) my hands. I often cut an avocado and add it to my salad at lunch…So far, so good. Haven’t shot myself either. You have to wonder how some of these people get through a day without a minder….
So funny I had to snort, but so true I am in awe of your insight.
Thanks for the observation.
Your logic is impeccable!
This “epidemic” is the result of know-it-all hiptsters (most likely libtards) who think they know better despite evidence to the contrary. I have no sympathy for that type of mentality.
A quick web search shows the proper way to remove the pit: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=easy+way+to+remove+avocado+pit
Idjits.
Some interwebs guy once said “I’m not saying we should kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying we should remove all the warning labels and let things sort themselves out.”
Darwin at work…….. Make popcorn and watch the show.
From BBC: “Avocados should carry warning labels following a rise in knife injuries from cutting into the fruit, a doctor has warned.”
Heh… they’re going to be so disappointed when they realize you can’t fix stupid by adding more warning labels. LOL!
Having *old* scars, and few or no new ones is proof that you learned the lesson.
I suspect that these morons heard that you take the pit out with a knife, and never bothered to study how before they attempted the first thing that came to mind.
Now it’s avocados, for decades it used to be slicing your hand open while bisecting bagels or julienne-ing your fingers while using a mandoline. It has nothing to do with politics or the current generation. In fact, I’m willing to bet that if you looked up the numbers, ‘avocado hand’ still comes in a distant third after bagel palm and mandoline finger. People will find a way to cut themselves while preparing breakfast.
Then there’s our chief rocket scientist, with 20 to 30 degrees, certifications, or general “I’m MUCH smarter than you” parchments on his I Love Me wall – just about amputating his index finger, which he had stuck through the hole in the bagel he was slicing.
Then the dumb sonnsabritch bled into the full bag of bagels – after he had waved the offended digit around, spraying quite a few of us in the conference room.
Engineers.
Could be worse, last spring I was in ER with a 9incher stuck up my bum – lots of nurses tried to pull it out by hand, but it had gone too far by then.