1. …followed, closely, by the realization that, in Free America, even a gimpy, wracked OAMF like me can have at hand authoritative aversive therapy, should such a soul present a lethal threat.

   Which, for an arthritic OAMF with my medical history, is less of a task than it might appear.

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2. The only good thing from NYC is cheesecake, and we can get that from Publix any time.
   Pastrami, yeah, but I don’t think they invented that and there are lots of Jewish delis in free states.

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   1. @Jack: We need one in the Lakes Region, NH. ?

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      1. I learned a month ago (when my wife mail-ordered from them) that Junior’s of Brooklyn ships cheesecake. It’s seriously awesome.

3. Yup. A buddy of mine lives just over the river on long island. I have relatives on long island. They come here to visit. You will have to pay me a YUGE amount of money and sedate me to get me to go there.
   In real America we shoot real guns in our back yards and nobody shoots back..

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4. I spent the better part of a decade working in pizzerias in Detroit*. I’ve made pizzas of every style and shape you can imagine, in places ranging from the greasiest dives to the most demanding fine-dining places.

   Michigan in general and Metro-Detroit in particular is probably one of the most competitive pizza markets on earth. Domino’s, Little Caesars, Buddy’s, Cottage Inn, Happy’s, Hungry Howie’s, Godfather… The list of national chains that originated here is staggering.

   So, I can say with some confidence, that just by looking at that pie in the above tweet… That’s a shitty pizza.

   The crust has not risen evenly or fully, indicating that the dough has “blown out” from sitting in a fridge too long and the yeast died; The cheese’s bubbling and browning pattern indicates too thick a layer of cheese in the center and too thin a layer in the middle, this will make for droopy limp slices that will drop all their topping off on your lap as soon as you pick up a slice; They appear to have only used one type of cheese, likely a factory preshredded faux mozzarella… that’s just shameful; and lastly, I see no indication of other herbs, butter, or garlic added after it finished baking… that’s just bland.

   Oh, and what blind idiot did you let slice it!?

   If you paid more than $7.00 for this thing, you got robbed.

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   1. I was going say that the picture doesn’t even look like good pizza at all. Hell, a Costco pizza looks better than that.

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5. That’s a good looking pizza. ?

   1. Bad pizza is like bad sex: it’s cold, limp, and greasy. But if it’s given to you free, it might not be too terrible. But if you’re paying for it…?

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6. I’m from Austin, so my definition of a good pizza would include ranch dressing served on the side.

7. Papa Murphy’s beats dealing with New Yawkers any day of the week.

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8. I’d eat DiGiorno every day of the week and twice on Sunday just to avoid new york.

   However, i do like Russo’s new york pizzeria, available at several locations in Texas and other states.

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9. Buffalo pizza is far superior to NYC pizza, and no one will ever convince me otherwise. Totally different styles.

10. NYC should be walled up, sealed, and its progtards left to their own stupidity in that craphole of a city.
    Any NYC politikritters trying to escape it on their l33t-mobiles should thrown in Gitmo.
    Same with Chiraq, Baltimore, Philly and the rest of the dbag “blue enclaves.”

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11. Ah, Dee-Troit pizza! Buddy’s vs Shield’s for best pizza in Detroit!

    Since I left, only rarely has other pizza measured up!

    Reminds me of a Mad Magazine cartoon.

    Pizzaria number one proclaims “Best Pizza In The City”, has a few folks coming in and out.

    Pizzaria next door, claiming “Best Pizza In The State!”, has a few folks coming in and out.

    Pizzaria next to that, asserts it’s “Best Pizza In The World!”, and has a few people coming and out.

    Pizzaria next door to That, signs that it has “Best Pizza On The Block!”, and the line stretches around the corner….

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    1. Buddy’s versus Jet’s, in my opinion, are the top competitors for the best Detroit-style pizza in the greater Detroit area… and, yes, Detroit-style pizza is a distinct subspecies of pizza. The pan pizza you can get from national chains like Domino’s or Pizza Hut is a rough approximation, in the same way that an Egg McMuffin is a rough approximately of Eggs Benedict.

       However, if you really want to venture off the safe path and find yourself in Southfield / Oak Park / Huntington Woods region of suburban Detroit, check out Jerusalem Pizza. Orthodox Jewish owned and operated kosher pizza. It’s a trip.

12. Funny enough, even though there are a metric ton of Italians and Italian restaurants in every town in Germany, in most cases you get the best pizza from a 30something vaguely Turkish guy with only a miniscule grasp of the German language in a greasy hole in a wall that makes delivery and pick up only.

    If you want a truly Italian pizza you have to find the one pizzeria in every city that still has the old matriarch tending the oven.

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    1. First- and second-generation immigrants who don’t speak much of the local language and are cooking food from a culture that is neither their native one nor that of their new country are always the best cooks.

       Walk into the kitchen of any Michelin-started French-bistro in London, I guarantee you’ll find ninety-five Slavic dudes screaming at each other in an odd pidgin of Russian, Ukrainian, and Polish; sneak behind the curtain of the trendiest, hippest, most exclusive sushi spot in Hollywood, the kitchen staff will be six guys from Mexico, four Guatemalans, and an old lady from Peru.

13. I’ve been to NYFC once. Three times if you count changing planes at JFK. And, I will not willingly return, ever. Period.

    Such arrogance this azz-hole displays is stunning. Not a single ingredient in that cardboard disk masquerading as a pizza was produced in NYFC. We rubes out here in rube-land who send them the things that allow them to live in such high-blown arrogance should once a year refuse to send those azz-holes anything for a solid month, and then we’d see how proud they are.

    Merry Christmas, NYFC, or is that a foreign language for which you people require a translator these days?

14. I’ve never been to New York, and don’t intend to go there, ever. I have lived (and had both good and bad pizza) in a number of cities. top of the list, an Italian restaurant in New Orleans ca. 1962, numerous mom and pop pizzerias in Philly/South Jersey ca. 1985 and again in 2005, a family owned Italian restaurant in Pocatello, Idaho ca. 1975, and a local chain restaurant in Idaho Falls, Idaho today. So yes, you can get good or even great pizza outside of New York, and even if NY pizza was food of the gods, I wouldn’t live there for anything.

15. New York pizza was invented when the chef got really loaded. He had a raging hangover the next day, and accidentally forgot dough and put all the toppings on the cardboard disc that goes in the pizza box.

    Pan pizza forever.

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16. I’ve had gas station pizza that looks better than that.

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