So Professor Hampikian pen an opinion piece picked up by the NYT full of “See How Cool I Write And Make Fun If Rednecks” expressing his passive-agressive opposition to an Idaho bill that would allow Campus Carry.Let’s check it out
My comments in bold.
When May I Shoot a Student?
By GREG HAMPIKIAN FEB. 27, 2014
TO the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature:
In light of the bill permitting guns on our state’s college and university campuses, which is likely to be approved by the state House of Representatives (It was approved yesterday) in the coming days, I have a matter of practical concern that I hope you can help with: When may I shoot a student?
I know you are just being an intellectual asshole but the answer can be found in that marvel of technology called The Internet. If you are uncomfortable with such advanced technology, pick up the frigging phone and call somebody from the Department of Criminal Justice which you are member of and find out.
I am a biology professor, not a lawyer, and I had never considered bringing a gun to work until now. But since many of my students are likely to be armed, I thought it would be a good idea to even the playing field.
Many of your students? Did you poll them? Oh yes, you are being snide. Carry on.
I have had encounters with disgruntled students over the years, some of whom seemed quite upset, but I always assumed that when they reached into their backpacks they were going for a pencil. Since I carry a pen to lecture, I did not feel outgunned; and because there are no working sharpeners in the lecture hall, the most they could get off is a single point. But now that we’ll all be packing heat, I would like legal instruction in the rules of classroom engagement.
You have to love the ignorance shown here. This is a guy who is involved with Idaho Innocence Project so he has had contact with convicts serving hard time and must know that even a pencil can be used as a deadly weapon. Of course he deals with students so in his mind they are all a bunch of stupid little shits incapable of dong nothing but getting high/drunk and chase each other naked around campus.
At present, the harshest penalty available here at Boise State is expulsion, used only for the most heinous crimes, like cheating on Scantron exams. But now that lethal force is an option, I need to know which infractions may be treated as de facto capital crimes.
So, the nastiest crime at Boise State is cheating on a test? Of course! He does not access the internet or he would have at his disposition the campus security Crime Log. Checking on the log for 2013, I see a variety of major crimes including burglary, theft, assault, assault with deadly weapon, arrest warrants, battery, stalking (always a favorite for female students), arson, bomb threat, strangulation and a boatload of drug offenses that leads me to believe you have some serious drug trafficking problem with the obvious drug dealers on campus.
I assume that if a student shoots first, I am allowed to empty my clip; but given the velocity of firearms, and my aging reflexes, I’d like to be proactive. For example, if I am working out a long equation on the board and several students try to correct me using their laser sights, am I allowed to fire a warning shot?
He is so funny! A warning shot! That would mean that you were not in fear of your life and you are in violation of the law on several felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon. You’d be on your way to jail with the mysteries of how to shower without bending over and sharing close quarters with other felons will be discovered.
If two armed students are arguing over who should be served next at the coffee bar and I sense escalating hostility, should I aim for the legs and remind them of the campus Shared-Values Statement (which reads, in part, “Boise State strives to provide a culture of civility and success where all feel safe and free from discrimination, harassment, threats or intimidation”)?
Dear Professor? Do I detect a certain (lots) of repressed and unsolved hostility inside your soul? It seems that if you were to posses a gun, your preferred method of conflict resolution would be to shoot at anything and anybody. Are you having problems at home? Feel unappreciated by fellow coworkers and the administration? Should we fear that you’ll pull a Charles Withman from top of The Towers Dormitory? I think you should seek help.
While our city police chief has expressed grave concerns about allowing guns on campus, I would point out that he already has one. I’m glad that you were not intimidated by him, and did not allow him to speak at the public hearing on the bill (though I really enjoyed the 40 minutes you gave to the National Rifle Association spokesman).
I am glad you liked it. We are here to help.
Knee-jerk reactions from law enforcement officials and university presidents are best set aside. Ignore, for example, the lame argument that some drunken frat boys will fire their weapons in violation of best practices. This view is based on stereotypical depictions of drunken frat boys, a group whose dignity no one seems willing to defend.
Other than the issue that only those with an enhanced concealed carry permit would be allowed to carry, which means over 21 years of age, that means seniors and Post graduate students, administration personnel, assorted adult workers & visitors and even faculty (not you with all your apparent emotional problems), basically people that are past the binge drinking age and are a wee bit more mature that your fresh-from-high school Freshman.
The problem, of course, is not that drunken frat boys will be armed; it is that they are drunken frat boys. Arming them is clearly not the issue. They would cause damage with or without guns. I would point out that urinating against a building or firing a few rounds into a sorority house are both violations of the same honor code.
We covered your ignorance of Campus Crime earlier. Let’s go on.
In terms of the campus murder rate — zero at present — I think that we can all agree that guns don’t kill people, people with guns do. Which is why encouraging guns on campus makes so much sense. Bad guys go where there are no guns, so by adding guns to campus more bad guys will spend their year abroad in London. Britain has incredibly restrictive laws — their cops don’t even have guns! — and gun deaths there are a tiny fraction of what they are in America. It’s a perfect place for bad guys.
I am so glad that in his academic honesty, the professor makes sure to mash the most law-abiding group of US Citizens with the lowest of the criminal element just because we carry guns…of course that means that anybody that carries a gun like a cop or a soldier or even campus security are equally criminals in the eyes of the professor. Good to know, that should make him popular. By the way, the England thing? you are safer in downtown Boise after midnight that in London at high noon. You may want to do some research on that.
Some of my colleagues are concerned that you are encouraging firearms within a densely packed concentration of young people who are away from home for the first time, and are coincidentally the age associated with alcohol and drug experimentation, and the commission of felonies.
Remember that part when i said over 21? Seniors? You didn’t even read the bill, have you? You are just flying by the seat of your own self-imposed ignorance.
And wait one second. You are now admitting that felonies occur on campus?
Once again, this reflects outdated thinking about students. My current students have grown up learning responsible weapon use through virtual training available on the Xbox and PlayStation. Far from being enamored of violence, many studies have shown, they are numb to it. These creative young minds will certainly be stimulated by access to more technology at the university, items like autoloaders, silencers and hollow points. I am sure that it has not escaped your attention that the library would make an excellent shooting range, and the bookstore could do with fewer books and more ammo choices.
By now I am wondering why does Prof. Hampkian have such a low opinion of his students? It seems that he treats them like a bothersome bumps on the road or First Graders incapable of having a coherent thought. I wonder what the students think about him:
“he talks about his outside projects a lot”
“he’s sometimes gone a lot for trials he works on so that made it a little tough.”
“class project is pretty easy and tests are mult. choice. some essay quizzes are graded pretty easy.”
“made us teach class ourselves for a project.”
” You have to read the book before going to class and teach yourself most of the material.”
“His work is incredibly interesting and sometimes he’ll talk about it more than what you’re studying”
He gets very good ratings which is par for an easy teacher who apparently does not teach but lets you “do it yourself.” Imagine if Firearms Instructors did it that way, he’d defecate building pre-fab materials. If you are a parent shelling up to $33,000 a year for tuition, you would expect that a teacher would actually be in class and teach.. and you be wrong.
I want to applaud the Legislature’s courage. On a final note: I hope its members will consider my amendment for bulletproof office windows and faculty body armor in Boise State blue and orange.
via When May I Shoot a Student? – NYTimes.com.
Well, since apparently and according to your students, you do not spend much time on campus, the Legislature may feel that any expense on you would be a waste of taxpayers’ money.