Yesterday, some friends of mine were on lockdown at work because a disgruntled employee made threats. Everybody is safe and the guy was arrested, he was just being an asshole online, but you can’t take chances.
One of the things the people I knew said about him was “that he was quiet.”
You always hear that.
The news headline could be “The bodies of 27 women were found in chest freezers in a rape dungeon under a suburban house.”
The first interview with a neighbor will be “he was so quiet, you never would have thought he was up to anything.”
In order to gauge personalities, I think I’m going to ask the interview question “What did you do last weekend?”
Candidate 1: “Well I spent a quiet weekend at home, talking with my yellow lab.”
Me: “We’re done here.”
Candidate 2: “So there I was in a hot tub filled with college cheerleaders…”
Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. Can you start on Monday? Okay, now finish that story.”
You know the guy who spends his free time that way isn’t eager to die in a hail of police gunfire at the end of a rampage.
My favorite question asked during an interview… “Would being called a mother-f^cking @sshole upset you?”
My response.. “No, I’ve been called worse.”
My response to a similar question was, No, I’ve well paid on several occasions to be a M-Fing @sshole.
How does a lockdown at work work? First thing I would do is get out of the building to get to my gun in the car! Then beat feet (tires?)!
If I ever start a business, I’ll include a gruntlement allowance as part of the pay and benefits package. That way, if an employee becomes disgruntled, it’s his own fault for not spending the allowance properly.