PaulK sent me this and I had a good laugh. Must share.
It Snowed Last Night
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
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8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
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8:15 – So, I made a snowwoman.
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8:17 – My feminist neighbour complained about the snowwoman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
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8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a fit and moaned it should be two snowmen.
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8:22 – The transgender man..woman..person asked why I didn’t just make one snowperson with detachable parts.
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8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
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8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
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8:31 – The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snowwoman wear a burqa.
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8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended
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8:42 – The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snowwoman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
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8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
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8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
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9:00 – I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
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9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
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9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding my head…they settled for the snowman’s head but I had to throw in the coal-eyes & the carrot nose!.
Moral: There is no moral to this story.
Obligatory:
https://youtu.be/p9ZSZFwVqqc
Some people just don’t like snowmen:
9:31 — All my personal information is leaked on the Dark Web. I receive the first (of many) credible death threats.
9:32 — My employer calls to inform me that due to “unforeseen safety concerns,” they are terminating my employment “with cause” (which remains unstated), so no severance package.
9:35 — My landlord serves me with notice that my 30 days eviction notice have expired and I must leave now or be charged with trespassing. My rent is paid in full and I never received any notice of eviction. I suspect some extra-legal shenanigans are at work….
Re 8:45 — the answer that popped into my mind is “one carrot or two”. 🙂
8:10 – reply “You are free to go make your own snow-whatever. Or aren’t you capable of doing so?”