Tactical Metrosexual
There is a gun blog out there that made a vitriolic attack at to what they refer as OFWG (Old Fat White Guys) and the way they train. I cannot help myself and laugh thinking about how much of the gun training industry is now held by the Tactical Metrosexual Guys. You have seen the type: Dressed in Under Armour Black T-Shirts one size too small so the biceps (with the duty tribal tattoo) and other muscle groups are tightly defined. Oakley wraparound ballistic sunglasses that they never remove unless they are going to bed (But I bet they keep during sex), cargo pants…er… excuse me “tactical” pants in black or khaki and scuffed tan boots that scream “I was there” referring to their time as supply clerks in Iraq. At the range they’ll be carrying every piece of gear they can attach with MOLLE and more guns than a Latin Kings meeting in South Central LA. Their ultimate wet dream is to make the cover of SWAT magazine but they will settle for an insert in Soldier of Fortune.
They thumb their noses at shooting sports because “they ain’t real” and “”they will kill you” but their time at the range is spent spreading their acquired gun wares for all to see and drool over. They don’t shoot much mostly because they have no money left to buy ammo because they had to buy the tactical pajamas with plate carrier in case they are attacked by a band of marauding AlQaeda terrorists breaking into their apartment while watching Son of Guns.
I posted before about a Federal SWAT-Type group that came to our club to shoot IDPA once invited by a fellow Federal Officer. They came wearing all their tactical thingies and s shitload of attitude only to be summarily outshot by a OFWG and a couple newbies with less than six months experience in the fine art of pistol shooting. They never returned and I am guessing because they felt embarrassed as hell at their scores and the muffled laughter from the other shooters.
Unfortunately looks sell and Hollywood determines how a warrior/shooter/Good Guy must look and most of these idiots follow that pattern. Those who are a bit more grounded in reality know better and have learned that shooters do not have a specific look. Clint Smith looks like a shortened version of Mr. Rogers. Pat Rogers looks like your standard Hollywood casting Irish barfly. Randy Cain looks like a baptist preacher who just woke up and the first time I met Massad Ayoob in person I was reminded of an old Italian organ grinder player and I actually wondered if he had a monkey nearby. And you do not see any of them wearing stuff that came from the runaway of the 10th annual Ninja/Operator High Couture Show.
The truth is you cannot tell who is a shooter by looks alone… or their lack of looks. And probably the more somebody looks like weightlifter the less they are good shooters. If the guy is so pumped that the hands at his sides are about a foot away from the body, he is gonna have a tough time trying to reach for the ultra customized Glock 18 in his thigh holster. In the meantime the OFWG will draw his snubbie from his shoot-me photog vest and make Mr. Tactical Metrosexual dance the Macarena.
PS: There is an old saying that goes: Don’t fuck with old guys. We tire easy and kill you quick just so we can go play bingo.”
PS 2: Gail will probably skin my butt next time I see her for my description of her Beau 🙂
