Gun Free Zone

Some stuff I learned through experience.

1. It is always a bad idea to involve Government Services. Public Servants have a very short fuse and they despise being involved in something funny that they did not create. Calling 911 to report screaming coming out of your neighbor’s house while they are having sex is a no-no. Nothing endangers good relations with you town dwellers and the local fuzz as having somebody dragged naked to a patrol car with a face full of pepper spray and the ensuing civil lawsuit. Also do not call USAMRIID and tell them that the arabic-looking owners of the nearby 7-11 present Ebola symptoms and they are chanting while coughing over the sandwiches. That the 7-11 owners are Dominican and singing salsa and bachata tunes will not make a difference to the lab rats in the white NBC suits.
2. Never pull a scary prank on somebody packing a gun or with easy access to crew served weapons. You never saw Allen Funt or whathisname in Punk’d trying to scare the daylights of anybody in a gun shop or range. There is a rumor that some idiot actually came up with a fake zombie invasion on Ted Nugen’ts ranch never to be heard from again. It is alleged that nearby earthquake monitors registered the amount of shooting coming out of the Nugent Household.
3. If the joke ends with stitches, Celox or calling for a casket, you have gone too far. Remember, one of the great things about practical jokes is to have the mark laugh alongside with you after is over. If your prank results in major medical intervention or the presence of a coroner at the end of the practical joke, you may want to tone it down a smidgen for the next time.
4. Be tasteful. Dragging body parts stolen from the morgue behind your car like some ghoulish Newlywed decoration is just tasteless. That kins of stuff should be reserved for Halloween only.
5. Avoid E-Mails that warn about nasty or scary pending legislation. Not only this is an old and tired joke that nobody buys anymore, but you are an amateur writing idiocy in legalese. Besides Congress will beat any comer… and for real.
6. Make sure your mark does not mind being the target of a prank. Unfortunately some people have no sense of humor, specially wives and significant others of the female persuasion. If you keep telling your wife that she looks like Britney Spears and then give her a USMC Boot Camp haircut while she is asleep, expect yourself to wake up without some body parts, the house, the truck, the kids and the bank account and a restraining order crazy glued to your butt.

Enjoy April’s Fool!

Yes Virginia, it is going to hurt. Badly.

We know that Shooting and Shooting Sports are safe. Contrary to what the Disloyal Opposition and Media say, accidental Shootings are in an old time low among civilians. Still we must be ready for that accident if it were to happen so? Are you ready?

Do you carry a First Aid Kit that can handle a gunshot wound? Do you know what do do in case of a gunshot wound? Do you know how to use that expensive pouch you bought that has QuikClot or Celox? We keep repeating that in a defensive scenario we are the first responders but this also should be true for medical emergencies. You can be Wyatt Earp with a gun, but if you are Barney Fife with a gauze, you are not helping yourself or your family. Get training at least at a basic level The Red Cross offers instruction all over the country for individuals or groups that want to learn the basics. Trust me, every little bit of knowledge will help you or somebody survive.

Does the range you attend have an established plan to deal with medical emergencies? Does it stop at calling 911 and getting the mop and the bucket? Is there somebody that has First Aid training working in that place? Ask questions and demand answers! You must plan ahead and according to what’s available and what is not. If the range is located next door to a Fire Station, maybe you can breathe a tad easier (Luck will have it that the day you need them, the paramedics are away half across town in another call. Don’t laugh, I’ve saw that happen.) If the nearest Paramedics are 10 minutes away and the Range has only acne-covered teens collecting cash and giving you paper targets, you may want to have a very complete plan ready or select a better location for your practice.

The same applies if you are a member of a shooting club. Does the club have a plan? Who are the selected Responders in case of emergency and how well are they trained? Who else is also trained?  First Aid kits? Is the area near a hospital or should there be a plan to transport an injured man to the nearest medical facility? Most major metropolitan areas respond to shooting incidents with a Medevac, Can you clear an area for the helicopter to land safely?Do you have Paramedics in your club? Abuse them! Ask them to set up a basic First responder class and to organize an emergency protocol for the club. Again, every little bit helps.

And don’t forget other life threatening situations besides gunshot wounds? Do you shoot in a rural area and wild poisonous critters may be the problem? How about your local weather? Heat related injuries is a common danger in our club and every year we have our share of people (Me number one idiot) that overdo it and have to be dragged to a cool place and iced down like a snapper in a fish market. No major situations have happened because we have a plan in place to deal with anybody that might be affected. If your issue is cold weather, seek information on the subject and prepare accordingly. I wish I could be more detailed in this matter, but we are awfully unprepared for frostbite in Miami.

I think you get the idea. You cannot prevent all injuries or cover every contingency, but being ready to tackle a major or minor emergency will save a life.

And yesterday was bad. Possibly one of my worst IDPA matches ever where not a thing happened just right, somewhat right or passably right. Funny thing was that a lot of people were that way too. Surgical shooters were hitting No-Shoots like they were Collaborators, Failures to Neutralize were the norm and we didn’t have stages that were too hard. About the only things that were running right were the New Shooters (5 of them introduced to IDPA) and everybody was safe with their guns.

Is there a Spring Sickness I am supposed to know about? It was the first week out of an unseasonable cold weather for South Florida. There was a constant cool breeze but the sun shined enough that we got a bit of a reddish tan and some more than necessary… which reminds me we must implement our customary Heat Exhaustion/Sickness/Stroke protocols.

Whatever it was, it did not bring the worst on people. Fifty Six shooters were exhausted, disappointed at ourselves but in a good mood. Nothing can beat that.  It is always good to shoot some and hang out with your buddies.

One thing did come out half right.

Not a bad one coming from me and only 34 photos taken. I usually get a decent one out of a hundred plus.

As seen in Larry’s Blog and agreeing with many of Larry’s fans when they said:
This is the height of awesomeness!
One cannot begin to imagine the amount of firepower that Uncle Ted can bring to a Monster fight…. all by his lonesome. I picture Werewolf hides nailed to a wall in a secret recording studio somewhere in the wild.

We truly are a Monster Hunter Nation.

Via A Dixie Carpetbagger,  you get to find out the true “peaceful” nature of our Opposition.

You can listen to the full audio here or read the transcript now:

“Yeah, I’m glad the president passed health care. Yeah. Funky ass, racist-ass Republicans hate that, don’t you? Jean Schmitt, when you got hit by that car, you should’ve broke your back, bitch. And Boehner, motherfucker…that Mitch McConnell. All you racist fucking Republicans. Why don’t you just change your party name to racist? Cuz if one of those fucking Tea baggers had spit on me, I’d have shot all them in the fucking face with my fucking 9 millimeter. Fuck all you racist motherfuckers.”