I hate travel.
Yeah, I know that makes me some sort of knuckle dragging barnacle, but it’s true. To me, travel is just shitting on a stranger’s toilet.
I’ll go some place for a day or maybe overnight, but that’s it. I’ll take a day trip to Birmingham or Nashville. When I lived in the Mid West, I’d go to the Wisconsin Dells or Holiday World in Indiana. When I lived in Florida, I’d do an overnight in the Keys or to Universal Studios in Orlando.
One night in a hotel is about my limit and I hate flying.
Ask me to leave the country and you might as well ask me to remove a foot with a hacksaw.
I had a coworker who went to Hawaii for a week. I asked her how much that cost. It was a “moderate trip” and only cost $7,000.
I almost had a stroke. That’s a year’s worth of daycare or nine months of truck payments. Fuck that noise. I have the Travel Channel and a HD TV, I’m good.
With my weekend trips, everything was discounted.
My wife worked at a summer camp in the Dells, so we got 50% off everything (she was a teacher so this what she did over the summer). My dad had a friend and client who had a houseboat in the Keys so would let us stay there for free. With Florida ID, is it possible to get discounted park passes during the off season, and my mom would get us discounts through the vendors of the restaurant supply through the deli.
If I have to pay full price for a vacation, it’s not happening. Even then, I’ve never come away from a vacation in not had some buyer’s remorse about it.
I’ve never gone on a trip longer than a day and said “I’m glad I spent the money on that, it was worth every penny.”
I was talking with another coworker on Friday about fishing. I’m not much into it but he is, and I knew about some good places in South Florida. A third coworker (not the one who went to Hawaii) said “why not go do Belize?”
He then explained weekend trips to Belize for fishing and snorkeling.
Then he started talking about his other worldly travels. The year he spent working as a dock hand in Australia.
Now, I don’t like this guy, for various reasons, but his Australia story really sunk it for me. He did it AFTER he finished college.
I made up my mind long ago that if I ever interviewed a candidate for a job and there was a blank space on a resume and I asked why and the answer was some variant of “well, after college I decided to travel and see…”
The interview is over. Done. Get out.
You just finished school. All your knowledge is fresh in your brain. What do you do? Take a year long vacation because your “young and have the rest of your life to work.”
Yeah… bullshit. All that says to me is that you are not serious and kind of selfish.
Now, before you call me a hypocrite for being all over the country, I’ve worked or gone to school all over. I have nothing against moving and being productive in various places.
You want to spend a year in Australia, the mines and railroads are always looking for engineers to work in the Outback. There are all sorts of contract jobs you can take in rural parts of the world for a year. Go mine Uranium in Yellowknife.
It is that vacation travel irks me and extended idol travel infuriates me.
Maybe everything is wrong with me, but by the last night of a three day weekend, I’m saying to myself “I have to get back to work.”
Travel is diametrically opposed to that and I hate it.