After hounding me for a week, (more if you count the hurricane wait)I had to take her to the hairdresser.
She is starting to show her 87 hard lived years. Memory is not sharp, has a tough time getting up from her rocking* recliner and I am the one cooking most of the meals now.
She refuses to use a cane even when her walk is not quite stable although she does use it (grudgingly) to get off the recliner. And Lord, is she stubborn! She still insist on cleaning the floors (broom and mop) and actually got miffed this weekend when the missus did it for her thinking she was being nice. I guess that being a hard working woman all her life, feeling useless is something that hurts deep.
Taking care of her has led me to develop a new vein of patience and understanding. It has not bees an easy task, but I promised dad over his grave that I would and that is what I pretend to do.
My family is having similar issues with our mother. Independent, yet memory fails prevent her from driving. Cooking is becoming a hit-or-miss proposition (Fire Department, of dinner? LET THE GAMES BEGIN!), yet she still wants to cook. Sometimes forgets to eat, often forgets her meds.
Makes it clear that we need to savor the time that we have to share.
So, in summary. good on ya for performing your filial duty. my brothers and I are facing the “what next?” question, as best we can.
I’m 55; you are describing me.. God bless her.
Hi Miguel,
Just in case no one else says so, Thank You for caring for your mother. Not everyone gets an opportunity to do so, and many more just don’t.
Continue to enjoy your time together!
Well done Sir. I commend you. My mom is 86 and doing well. My wife n I live 300 feet away and we do things for her which makes. Her feel like a burden which its not. We are supposed to look after them its what MEN do
“…it’s what MEN do.”
Indeed, Curby, indeed.
God bless you, and God bless her. Believe me, some day you will remember every good moment, every good thing you have done for her, and probably with a few tears. My precious wife was the only truly wonderful thing that ever happened in my life, and the last couple of years before she passed, she was bedfast and I was her only caregiver- which was not a complaint, but an honor and privilege. I look back sometimes and think of the earlier times when I let her down or the times I could have spent with her and tears flow very often, So anyone that you care for, treasure those moments…. they will be gone before you know it.
Boy, can I relate. I am caring for my 83 yr mother. It’s either this or mother will go to one of those homes. Those places frighten her for she has seen some of her friends live an unkind existence in those facilities. I will not let that happen as long as I can draw a breath. So that exposes me to much which does try my patience, basically mother insisting on doing chores (like you said) but pretty much doing it by half. So, in the quiet of the night I repeat the same chores to a proper level of cleanliness and order. Of course there is the near daily fun of finding her cell phone, shoes, purse, tablet and all the other stuff of life. It can be trying and frustrating. And now I have medical problems which puts me in constant pain. But mostly I wouldn’t change it for the world. Mother deserves my best.
I’m sorry to complain or seemingly to boast about my (crooked) halo. Today had been an especially off day. I’m simply trying to do the right thing by mother but it’s difficult sometimes. My reward is found in Matthew 6:20,21. God bless you.
God bless you and keep you, R.