There are two things that I can guarantee I will see every Independence Day, fireworks, and every Left leaning news and opinion site publishing articles about why ackchyually America is a racist, bigoted, mysogonistic, shithole… yadda yadda yadda…

I caught a story from Jezebel:

A Modest Proposal: Let’s Rename Independence Day Literally Anything Else

I don’t need to read this to know she’s going to name is something Anti-American or totally banal.

(Skip to the end)

With that in mind, I’ve put together some quick suggestions on alternate holidays much more in line with America’s next generation, which still allow us to enjoy a long summer weekend:

Everyone Posts the Same Flag Cake on Instagram Day (Hazel Cills)
Unionize Your Workplace Day
MoviePass Memorial Day
Legalize Marijuana (And Release All “Drug Offenders”) Day
Crash Didn’t Deserve An Oscar Day
Old Town Road Day
Kamala Harris Is Still a Cop Day
Hot Dog Day (Megan Reynolds)
Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston Memorial Day (Julianne Escobedo Shepherd)
It’s Ok To Wear Those Flip-Flops Day
Reparations Are An Essential Political Agenda For Any Democratic Candidate Hoping To Be Elected Day
Yes You Can Eat Three Ice Creams Today Day (Alexis Sobel Fitts)
Abolish ICE Day
De-platform Gwyneth Paltrow Day
Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle Is A Better Movie Than The Original Day
Rihanna’s Side Boob Day

I’m sorry you had to read through all that.

But if we go back to the beginning of the article everything makes sense, and I propose a solution that will keep us from having to deal with more of this shit in the future.

Note the two important parts I’ve bolded:

If you haven’t been paying attention, America is pretty fucked. And most of us have long been radicalized out of our previous understanding of the country we live in as an oasis of simple, wholesome pleasures. There’s not a single person I know that still refers to Columbus Day as anything other than Indigenous People’s Day. And Father’s Day? I think we can all agree it was the right decision to rename it, “Rewatch Lord Of The Rings for the Xth Time In An Attempt To Escape Generational Trauma Day.” But in an age when children are locked in cages at our border, trans women are murdered at excessively high rates, abortion rights are threatened nationwide, sexual predators hold many of our nation’s most powerful offices, Pete Buttigieg and the reanimated corpse of Joe Biden are dueling the astral projections of Marianne Williamson in the Democratic primary, and laborers have had our rights and wages stolen from us—is there anything left to celebrate?

I understand now.  She has daddy issues and got radicalized in college.

Fortunately there is a solution for this.

For decades, girls with daddy issues didn’t end up as writers for online shit-rags like Jezebel, they danced on poles for money.

We can’t fix daddy issues, but we can do a better job of sorting this girls away from radical Leftist professors and towards stripping.

I can’t promise that they will be any better off, but between seeing boobs for a dollar and having to read another screed by some gender studies graduate how much America sucks, I will take boobs any day.

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By J. Kb

11 thoughts on “Somebody show this girl to a pole”
  1. Paraphrasing Congressman Crenshaw, if you progtards snowflakes are offended by a day celebrating American independence from King George’s tyranny, it’s a good indication that you may be better off moving to a permanent commie “safe” space, like Cuba or Venezuela.

    Get out.

  2. Her bit about Columbus day is something I’ve seen firsthand. These folks tend to live in a bubble where all their crazy ideas are reinforced cuz they’re the only ones there. Add to it that they flat out refuse any outside perspectives.

    A lack of diversity, shall we call it?

    1. Parochialism, made all the worse by being brainwashed into believing they’re knowledgeable and worldly. These are people who believe they know enough to solve all the world’s problems, but are barely capable of accurately expressing what their neighbors believe.

  3. While I support your proposal, I see it limited by the population. Remember most of the “gender studies” types are like “Twigglypuff” and would have to pay the audience to see them naked.

  4. Oh, god, this stupid “trans women are being murdered!” meme that has infested the progressive left is one of my greatest pet peeves in politics these days. I mean, the rest of that screed was mind-numbing, but that line strikes a nerve with me.

    First off, let’s pause to appreciate that the author only worries about trans women. This is probably an unconscious bias, but I find it telling that sooo many Leftists totally ignore trans men. I swear, everyone on the Left is either a TERF (trans exclusionary radical feminists; they hate trans women because they are biologically male) or fanatical “ally” of trans women (who hates trans men because they’re biological women who have betrayed the Sisterhood). Basically, the entire left thinks trans men don’t exist… Except for all the trans men who are Leftists themselves and haven’t figured out the rest of the Left doesn’t care about them.

    Anyhoo… On to point two: According to the National Organization for Women (Link 1, below), in 2015 there were 21 trans women murdered and in 2016 there were 27 trans women murdered. Those are the most current years I can find data for, but the estimate was that in 2017 the numbers would be approximately the same as 2016. Let’s be REALLY generous with our numbers and say that in any given year an average of thirty (30) trans women are killed.

    Now, according to UCLA studies, about 0.6% of U.S. adults identify as transgender. Now, let us again be REALLY generous with our numbers and round that up to 1% of the 222.5 million adults in the US and we’ve got… Well, 2.2 million trans gender American adults.

    Thirty murders out of a population of 2.2 million. That’s a homicide rate of 1.36 per 100,000.

    The homicide rate for the United States, as a whole, was 5.1 per 100,000 in 2017, 5.3 per 100,000 in 2016, and 4.9 per 100,000 in 2015.

    So, it is simply not true that “trans women are murdered at excessively high rates” as the author states. In fact, they are being murdered at rates well below the mean.

    But, hey, why let FACTS get in the way of a good narrative?

    Link 1:

    Link 2:

    1. It’s not about facts or reasoning. It’s about demonizing anyone who doesn’t toe the line. The left wants power, and trans people are just a tool they’re using to get it.

      1. I don’t bring up facts and logical counter-arguments in order to persuade people like the author. That’s almost always a fool’s errand.

        I bring up facts and logic in order to demonstrate to any third-party who might be sitting on the fence how nonsensical the other party is being.

    2. I wonder how many of them were involved in high mortality activities like prostitution or drugs? Using a trans hooker getting killed by her pimp as a hate crime stat is just as misleading as using an axe wielding nut shot by cops as a gun crime stat.

      1. I’ve mentioned it before in comments on another article around here, but it’s stupid early in the morning and my google-fu is failing me…

        But, yeah, the disproportionate number of trans women (especially black trans women) involved in sex work is something of an open secret in the LGBT community. Everyone knows it’s happening, everyone knows to keep their mouth shut about it.

        But, to answer your question… No one really knows.

        I’m a lot more libertarian on the prostitution issue than our hosts. I firmly believe it should be de-criminalized and this question is a good example of a benefit de-criminalization would have: we could actually get some demographic data about the industry. The problem with black markets is they are, by definition, hidden from view.

  5. Wait a minute…

    I read this yesterday, and it didn’t really dawn on me that the link is to Jezebel.

    I think that means she got paid to write that nonsense. I’m not saying she got paid much, but you and millions of other bloggers write better stuff.

    Her article has it all: lame humor, illogical arguments from factually incorrect ideas and pure SJW preening. Her only good use is to be a bad example.

Only one rule: Don't be a dick.

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